Month: February 2016
Awakened from a long sleep. I was still in a “Gosh why did I wake up” mood. And, since I was still mad with God and the word, I vow to myself that: “I wouldn’t bathe or eat till I drop dead.”
Around three, my stomach started growling like a dinosaur. After an hour of that nuisance, I had no choice but to satisfy that need. And, while I ate, I was sweating like a pound of butter melting on fire. So you know the end of that misery as well.
After a long shower, I thought I would review my script which by the way is due tomorrow; but, for the life of me, or should I say “for the death of me?” I don’t know when I fell asleep.By the time I woke up, I realized I was sleeping for over five hours, with my PC replacing my pillow.
Ok. So both my body and mind were craving for that long nap, but how dare of them?I ended up taking orders from them instead, doing exactly what I had purpose not to do.
Yes, I ate, showered and rested.
Now I feel much better At least, for now. Until the next storm. And since I live in Florida, storms are quite frequent here. And sometimes the shutters I rely on are not too effective.
God, You have some explaining to do!
I asked the world for an explanation, but it answered me “I don’t owe you one. I should be the one to ask you this question since you invaded my territory fifty-four years ago.”
That’s when I realize it was time to say goodbye!
Meanwhile, enjoy one of my latest painting intitled “Look up Haïti!”
I’m dedicating it to my nephew whom I never met. HIs name is Mohamed Mushak Moïse. A few days ago, after my conversation with him, I realized we had one common ground. We are two forgotten beings, trying to understand what to make out of this cruel world; yes, fighting for our survival. So I prayed for strength that night, just so I could be there for him, help him any possible way; since his mother passed away three years ago.
If only I had the strength to wait for the fulfillment of my prayer. Knowing God, if He does answers at all, it will probably be too late.
I have another important submission and didn’t realize it was due soon. Thank goodness I checked my calendar yesterday.
I will be back, but meanwhilee, enjoy your blogging experience.
I’m a freak for beautiful things. Seriously; I will buy a set of porcelain plates just because I think the artist deserves an applaud.
I wish I could say the same for my children, but… God knows where those Mohicans came from.
Beautiful plate, wouldn’t you say? Sometimes, I just gaze at these beautiful creation just to admire the artist brilliance. That’s why I don’t negotiate my collections with anyone; not even with my children. Because my brats are yet to learn how to appreciate the value of artistic creations.
What can I say? I learned the hard way. I once had an antique table which I proudly gave to my first born. A couple weeks later, I almost had a heart attack when I visited her. And for her, it was like “What’s the big deal?”
“What happened to the table?” I asked her.
“Oh! I forgot the iron was hot when I placed it there.”
Since that day, I vowed “NEVER to trust anyone of those intruders with my collection until the day I can confuse their gray hair with pure white thread.
So, after my second daughter brought her house, guess what I did? I took pictures of everything I carried to her house. Not that she cares either. Check out my notes:
I don’t know, it’s something about beautiful site, that just takes my breath away. I will stop driving just to take a picture. Sometimes it’s the blinding colors from the sunrise; or, a beautiful garden. I feel anything beautiful is worth preserving.
For instance, my daughter has a beautiful crystal chandelier in her dining room. Look at it: The picture is not flattering enough, but trust me, it’s beautiful!
I’m also a freak when it comes to beautiful fabrics, French and Brussels laces… And you know what bother’s me? I practically have to hunt the thrift shop in order to find these valuable treasures. Now everything is from China, so we only get the make believe ones. Look at the French lace below. If I could still find this edging lace design, I would make myself a beautiful gown, and whenever I wear it, I would never speak to anyone ever again.
Now this is what I call a wedding handkerchief. No wonder the old folks marriage lasted forever. I bet you the wives did everything in their power to please their husband. Why? Because he was more likely the one paying the mortgage, so she had to reassure she had a place to safeguard her handkerchief collection. And, don’t forget her silverwares either!
Lastly, today a few swans came to visit our backyard. Since I’ve been here, I’ve seen ducks, flamingo, but never swans. My daughter even said:
“Mom, I’ve never seen swans since I’ve lived here, you think they were angels who came to visit us?
I answered her “Honey, we live in Florida, way too close to the Caribbean. I doubt the angels would risk breaking their wings with all the demons who live down here!”
Angels in disguise? No wonder they only remained in our backyard, hell is probably two floats away!!!
I picked up two of my daughters from the airport Sunday night; they were in Brazil for the week.
When they left, I was worried. “Remember the zica virus is vacationing there as well. I don’t want to have to wait for two more years before I could hold another grand-child”
“Oh Ma, please! Just pray!” They answered me.
Of course, I was relieved to see them back home safe. But, during our ride back home, the older one had a moment of brilliance.
“You know what Ma?” She said.
“Thrilled me please!” I answered her.
“ I seriously thought about this, and this is my firm decision. I’m going to take a break from travelling, so my next trip will be all the way in December.”
I knew better than to encourage her insanity, so I just answered her hesitantly, “Oh, well, ok-OK dear.”
Mind you, that conversation took place on Sunday night, the 14th of FEBRUARY. And,
yesterday was the 16th of the same Month. I was in the room minding my business, pounding my brain, trying to figure a way so I could cheat my way through the Algebra class, which I must enroll for ASAP, when I heard.
“Ma, can I come in?”
“Going to surprise my friend to.”
“From the thrilled look on her face, I knew she was planning to travel. So, I interrupted her IN PURPOSE.
“But, we are still in.”
“I know Ma, but she just gave birth, so I have to go see her and the baby.”
“Okkk-kayayay!” I said.
What can I say? She’s a byproduct of “Stand-by-your-husband.” I can’t really blame her.
Yes, when I was pregnant with her, my husband was still attending Northrop University. As an aeronautic engineer student, he would spend hours standing near the airport to observe the planes landing. I was the lamb dragged to the slaughter. From where we stood, we could feel the heat from the planes as they landed. And, by the time we left there, I thought I was deaf.
Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if one day she received a new revelation: “Ma, guess what?”
“Thrill me please.” I would answer her back.
“I found a surgeon who could implant two gigantic wings on my back, see? Right there. So I can fly like a plane.”
And my answer would be, “Ok honey, but remember to check the weather for storms, and don’t bother to bring an umbrella either, the wind will definitely blow it away.”
And, knowing her, she would probably answer me.
“Don’t worry Ma, I will.”
Yap! When we have Chill-Rain, it’s like signing a lifetime contract with Mr. Worry and Ms. Panic attack.
Later on that day, while my youngest one had just texted me a whole list of prayer requests pertaining to her long terms goals. On the other hands, on the same day, the third one from the same species finally decided to have a heart to heart conversation with me about “Her life, which was not turning out the way she had planned.”
Yes, THAT ONE graduated with her Bachelor from Florida State University over a year ago. Although, from the day she was born, she had that honorable kinder for justice and law, and she always knew she wanted to be a lawyer. But, somehow, between the graduation ceremonies, till now, she’s been searching for her soul while watching Briana’s whereabout, and Jhon Lennon playing the piano while she works as an assistant manager 1/2 a second per day.
“I have to find myself Ma, so I need a break.” I figured she needed some time. For she did have to endure a couple trauma while she was away for school. Like spending a couple thousand dollars per month which she never told me her father was wiring her, SINCE HE DIDN’T KNOW SHE HAD A FULL SCHOLARSHIP.
Finally yesterday, the conversation went like this: “Ma, I know what I want to be now.”
I answered her “Wow, let me guess?”
“Ma, I wasn’t the only one who got lost along the way. In fact, one of my friend spends his days smoking, because he can’t figure out what he wants to do with his life. He studied journalism, and mind you, we were both honors student from High school.”
So, I answered her, “And, I ‘m assuming when he left home for FSU, “himself” was not lost yet?”
“Of course not Ma. We were both brilliant children.”
“I see. “So why don’t you both take a ride back to the university, and search through the lost and found box, and at last claim “yourselves back”
“Ma!” She yelled back.
I had to be a Mom. At least, that’s what she expected of me.
“I know. I trust you’ll find your way. You always did. I reassured her.
“Are you disappointed in me Ma?” She asked sadly.
“No.” I answered her. But, to cheer her up I said, “Hopeful, but not disappointed.”
She too had been mourning for our cats. I noticed she had lost so much weight, she looked like a stale herring fish. But I knew the only help I could offer her at this point was my sound wisdom. She had to discover her own journey. And, I’m confident she will.
So for closure, I said to her:
“We must give ourselves time to heal from life tragedies. Yes, after a wound, our soul thirst for healing, the same when we longed for a cold glass of water after a long run. And this healing is secured only on due time; therefore, we can’t rush its process.
Meanwhile, enjoy the silence. Listen to your inner soul. For, it will sing a melody, which only you can hear; only you can enjoy. Then you might discover how well, your fingers may still scribble some heartfelt poetry. Or, don’t be surprised if you gravitate toward the piano, where you once find your delight.
Yes, our God’s given talents were given to us for such a time as this. So we must embrace them. For, whenever we’re bruised, they will help us healed. If confused, or lost, they will be our guide to our journey back home.”
As tears rolled down her cheeks, I turned my head away, so she wouldn’t notice my teary eyes.
Moments like these are truly unforgettable. For, I just had to share my basket of roses with her, so she too might have enough to spread along the way.
It’s about four A.M. and I just can’t manage to fall asleep. So I thought I would make myself a cup of tea before I rushed in the garage, to start working on my next painting.
Yes, moments like this, with nostalgia encroaching my soul,I find my refuge in my artwork. For as soon as I start painting, it feels as if I’m diving myself into a soothing enchanting bath.
Of course, my cup of chamomile tea often helps. However, as soon as grab a hold of my canvas and my brushes I can feel the atmosphere changing; electrifying by the spirit of creativity. This thought comes to mind “Anything is possible”.
“Oh dear friend, where have you been?” I’ll say.
“Are you talking to me you lazy brat – Do you know how long we’ve been trying to get your attention to finish this work you’ve started?”
“Ok, ok! Let see” I replied. Perhaps we can finish up this stubborn donkey” . Coincidentally, it was a previous painting which I had started a while back. A picture of a donkey refusing to make one more step.
Yes, that poor donkey was so overwhelmed, he was fed up. As he started gravitating toward the back, he decided he wouldn’t make one more step.
“Mm!” I thought. How often do we find ourselves crossing that same intersection? When we are standing still and overwhelmed with all the drama of life; dragging our soul and body behind us, we feel as if we were carrying the weight of two Rocky Mountains upon our shoulders; we’re at the point of giving up.
So I said, “Ok donkey! I feel your pain, but I’m certainly not you. In fact, here! Carry some of my loads for me, because I refuse to end up like you.”
So, I finished up my cup of tea, and my two paintings, then I went right back to sleep. And the following morning when I woke up, I was content to see the work of my hands. Yes, i was well pleased. Then I reasoned,
“A new day, new challenges, but hell! I refuse to be like that donkey!!!
So life goes on!
(Yes, I thought I would give you a closer look of the chubby woman doing the “Banda dance.”)
Yeah! Much better, don’t you think?
Beautiful scenery, a couple in love, cultural dance, Hooray!
Entitled “Our Inheritance.”
We all get in a bad mood sometimes, don’t you agree? But why?
As for me, I’m thinking of a good answer to lie about, but I can’t seem to come up with one, so I guess I will have to be honest.
Dawn it! Sometimes I just don’t want to see anybody’s face.PERIOD. Yes, I simply don’t want to be bothered. That’s all! Of course, there are some days when the artistic side of me is dominating. And of course, I know my day will be spent either drawing, painting or writing. And the not even a fly better don’t come near me tehn. Or, I will smatch it into powder. Yes, any “Hi” or “How are you?” will annoy the hell out of me.
But some people just dont’ get it!
Shuut! “If I stay in my room, or I don’t take the time to call you, what makes you think I want to talk to you – Even worse; I want to converse with you?”
And, my children are not any better. Sometimes I think they just enjoy anoying me.
“Hi Mah!” ( “Mah” Is how my girls call me.) I don’t know if they think I’m a mule or something!
I usually just stare at them. Yes, total SILENCE (And I mean, I will totally ignore them.)
2nd time: “HI MAH!”
3rd time: “HI MAH!”
Me at last: WHAT?
By the way, that was just the appetizer. The main course usually goes this way.
Me: I give “The Look.”
“The look really stands for “Do I look like I want to talk to you right now?
“SO BUZZ OFF!!!”
But my children are as much of a brat as I am. So they will make sure the news go viral as they start charting immediately.
“Guess what? “Mom is in a crappy mood today!”
“Oh yeah! Let’s see!” One will say.
“Play Time!” The most annoying one will say.
A few minutes later, my phone start ringing.
1st Time………. I ignore it.
2nd Time…….. I ignore it.
3rd Time……… I finally answer:
“Hi Mah! Are you ok?
Me: Yes, bye, ok. leave me alone -drop dead!
Phone ringging again.
1st, 2nd, 3r time I finally answer:
The caller: “Hi Ms. Moise, You signed your name to volunteer at the youth activity center, so we were just calling to let you know that we received your background result today! Isn’t it great! So, how soon do you think you’ll be able to start?”
Me: “Are you kidding me? After the way I just answered you, you still trust ME to interact with the…?”
Caller: “Of course! Why wouldn’t I? In fact, I think you would be a perfect fit!” By the way, you were just having a tantrum, WEREN’T YOU? Or, is it just a bad day for you my dear?”
Me: “Actually yes, today is just a bad day, plus I just didn’t want to be bothered and my kids kept on calling me “Hi Mah! -Hi Mah! “I feel LIKE…rrrrr!”
Caller: Oh! Trust me, I understand where you’re coming from. “Well, just to give you a brief on our little angels here at the center, most of them who are sent here are ex-convicts, thieves, murderers, compulsive liars and drug addicts; I think we even have a couple who killed their siblings, their grandma, their rats and cow; so they should keep you busy, don’t you think?”
Me: Su-sure! – DIAL TONE.
Fifteen minutes later.
Door open: “Hi Mahhhh! How are you today?”
Me smiling: “Hi sweetie, I Love you!
After the last brat closes the door.
“Hihihi, WE GOT HER!
“We love you Mahhh!”
“Love you too! ” BRATTS!!! “In my next life I won’t have any CHILL-RAIN!!!”