Month: March 2016
Of course, you must be wondering about my new song? Let me give you a hint: ” Once upon a time, I had a car which sounded just like that. It was a gremlin which I bought for $150.00 from one of the Northrop University student.
Guess what? When I attempted to get a tune up at the Pep Boys, the mechanics there refused to touch the car. Why? Because the motor was tied up with a cord.
Oh my God! We all had a good laugh.
“Didn’t you check the motor before you purchased the car?” They asked me.
“I didn’t know it had a motor. What does it look like?” I answered back.
“Well,” One of the guys answered, “It’s really hard to show you the motor because it’s fully wrapped… If I were you, I would stop driving this car.”
I answered, “But, I’ve been driving it every day from Long Beach to Los Angeles for the past year, and it never stopped. Why should I stop now?”
Yap! You guess right. I drove it for another year and finally gave it to another student, who offered me $300.00 even after he saw the special treatment on the motor. But, I chose to give it away instead.
So, do you think I’m crazy for humming this song in honor of my first car?
I don’t think so!
At least, I got you to read my story. And, it seems like you ‘re still reading it too.
Hey! Stop laughing at my song. This is an original!!!
P.S. This is a true story.
It’s been over a week since I’ve been here, and I’m still under the impression perhaps death took me by surprise, and I finally woke up in heaven.
Why? Because in my new world, I’m surrounded by old friends and family members. I’m talking about genuine people with selfless gestures, and no threat of hypocritical sting.
They smile from within. They give wholeheartedly. They help selflessly.
They deliberately value every moment they spend together like precious jewels. They are like fresh roses, so tightly knitted together, they form a beautiful tapestry, and the aroma of love is inevitable.
Yes, their notable generosity and selfless gestures surpassed the norm. And, as they remind me of the pleasant days we shared together back in the eighty’s, I truly feel in my BAIN.
After church, we head toward one of the siblings, or the aunties, where the family meal is prepared. Those absent are either working or living in another state.
While my sister in Law is cooking, my older niece is impersonating Trump. She makes it her business to follow his every move. She sounds just like him too. By the time she delivers her briefs, we all have teary eyes from laughter.
At one point I thought: “Interesting, America will finally have a first lady with an accent.”
But, another answered, “No, she would first have to learn how to speak English.”
“STOP THE PRESS!” My sister in law yelled. “You mean, he’s married to an immigrant, while he…?”
Imagine the steam from the living room while over ten women are deliberating on Trump’s future insane asylum.
Yes, laughter is my new bathtub, and love is my shower gel.
So, welcome to my new world!
Wishing all my friends and family members a blessed Easter!
Since my location, I’ve been very busy laughing my heart out while chatting with some friends and family. Bur trust me, I WILL BE BACK.
Meanwhile, enjoy the beauty of this season.
Equal $9.86 At the Airport!!!!!
Guys, I’m finally leaving Florida. Thank Goodness! It’s been almost thirty years since I made my entrance to this hellish State, where, at last, I’m making my humble exit.
It’s been almost thirty years since I made my entrance to this hellish State, whereI’m thankful at last, I’m making my humble exit.
Therefore, I would like to acknowledge everyone who’ve been a blessing to me along the way. And, I certainly hope somehow, in some minimal way, I had a positive impact on some of the humble and gentle-minded people who were still remaining here.
So, my heartfelt gratitude to the state of Florida, where I experienced a handful of genuinely pleasant glimpses and lived to be shocked by the most horrific encounters.
So, as I continue to look up and forward, I say to Florida, the most wicked land in the south-east region of the United States; may the Almighty purge and rescue the few good souls who are still remaining in this state. As for the others, the offsprings of darkness, may He truly grant your heart desires.
Sadly, then I doubt if even a cold glass of water will be able to quench your thirst. So, may you accept the provision of His grace before it’s too late.
“Hold on, stop the press!” I borrowed this quote from my girlfriend Marie-Flore. I will write about the few days spent at her house while I was in CA later. But today, I want to address the Trump dilemma; America’s latest tragedy.
Sorry guys, I haven’t been able to write since my return from California. I’ve been preoccupied with my new invention. Yes, since I’m from the Caribbean and Mr. Suntan happen to be my best friend, I thought I better start researching an herbal skin bleach; just in case Donald Trump is elected president.
Donald Trump presidential slogan is: “Make America great again.” Assuming he’ll get rid of the foreigners. I find this interesting since Mr. Trump himself is the son of immigrants?
According to CNN, “Trump’ mother was born in Scotland. “In 1930, an 18-year-old Mary MacLeod sailed for America from Glasgow on the S.S. Transylvania, according to a copy of the ship’s passenger list on Ancestry.com. MacLeod arrived in New York and married Fred Trump, the son of German immigrants himself.”
Hold on! Stop the press!!!
Trump also claimed, “My grandfather Frederick Trump came to the United States in 1885.”
About his WIFE? CNN also stated, “Melania Trump moved to New York about 20 years ago.”
Yes, Donald Trump fell in love with the immigrant, Slovenian-born model, and they had an extravagant wedding ceremony. Guilty as charged, I was among million who watched the wedding ceremony. And, I was mesmerized by her glamorous gown which I heard cost a fortune.
By the way, Mr. Trump’s first wife Ivana was ALSO an immigrant. In fact, she was born in Czechoslovakia. OMG! Please stop the press!!!
I also read on Mr. Trumps website, “ Donald J. Trump is the very definition of the American success story, continually setting the standards of excellence in BUSINESS, REAL ESTATE, and ENTERTAINMENT.”
So, my question is: “What is he doing vampirizing the political realm?
Now my greatest fear is for the employees of the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services. Why? Because Trump might command their genocide.
Trust me, I already renewed my passport. In fact, I carry it with me everywhere I go. I even purchased a one-way ticket to Timbuktu City in Mali.
By the way, since Trump is doing such a great job tromping over the good values of the American people, don’t you think the name “TROMP” would suit him better?”
Well, Trump better be glad I’m not working for the State vital records office. I would gladly do him the honor for FREE!
Then his political slogan would read: “TROMP, Anything is possible in America!”
I was still feeling blahhh today, when I thought, “Why not visit the nearby thrift shops? After all, since we’re still in Los Angeles, the City of Angels; what better place to hunt for some rare vintage?”
Boy, was I wrong! My sister and I went to three different thrift shops, and when we finally went back home, we were each holding a tiny bag. Trust me, that’s very unusual. Hope you know what I mean.
So, do I feel any better now? Of course not.
Well, since hunting the thrift shops totally failed the “Make me happy test” now I’m not only mourning for the death of my brother, but I’m heartbroken for the sterile state of the thrift shops in this town; at least the ones I visited.
So, it’s time to take some drastic measures. Hopefully, a great comedy movie should do the trick, don’t you think?
I heard, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2” is playing. So my sister and I are planning to visit the Hollywood theater on Hollywood Blvd, in order to watch it there. I better laugh my heart out. Else, I would give the crew a horrible rating.
While I’m there, I plan to place my own star on Hollywood walk of fame. And since I refuse to cooperate with the outrageous fees I suppose one must gladly pay, in order to have million of pedestrians swipe their duty shoes on your name, I will just glue my homemade marble star on top of Marilyn Monroe’s. Her initial is “MM”, while mine is “NM”; close enough, don’t you think?
But, I will definitely engrave MY NAME next to Dorothy Lamour and Sophia Loren stars. My type of ladies!
So I suggest you watch the news today. If you hapen to notice a handcuffs woman smiling, while faking speaking Italian before a judge, it will be me.
So before I take off, let me say in advance, “Nice meeting you as well.”
Don’t worry, I will keep you posted.
This is my way to exhale my anger, the rage I’m feeling for losing my brother. Yes, I’m screaming with frustration.
I’m still in LA, meeting with old friends and family members we haven’t seen for a while. They all remember my brother as the teaser, the kind-hearted gentlemen he was.
By now, I honestly thought I would feel better. But I was wrong. I’m still angry at the whole world. Furthermore, I’m angry at life. And, I’m whispering to you guys that “I’M ALSO ANGRY AT GOD,” for calling my brother home so young.
Yes, I’m screaming from the top of my lungs with frustration; while I’m still trying to swallow my lost.
I know “God” can still hear me. Good for HIM. Perhaps, next time He’ll remember my wrath before He calls me or any member of my family home.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yes. That’s right God! I’m interrupting the angels’ praises to you. I hope my screaming will annoy you, so much so, you won’t be able to rest either.
Why God? WHY MY BROTHER PATRICK? I know you have all the answers. So please tell me.
I won’t’ dare ask YOU: “Why not me instead?” Because you know I would be lying.
A couple weeks ago, I thought I was ready to make my silent exit from this world, but losing my brother made me realize the precious gift of life You’ve honored us; and hopefully, I will meet my deadline before my unexpected final goodbye.
Yes, this is my conversation with the Creator. I’m still waiting for His answer. I will let you know if He answers me back. Chances are, He won’t. And if He does, it will be” I’m God, I do as I please.”
My answer to Him: “Wait until I get up there. You’ll will sentence me back to a trillion life back on earth. I guarantee you that much. But, just remember I don’t want to come back as a Haitian!”
So, while I wait on “His” answer, I thought I would travel down memory lane, revisiting our childhood events for therapeutic purpose.
Below are a few pictures, precious moments we spent together. And, yes, they are actually us. As you can see, since my older brothers were already in the U.S., my brother Patrick was the only boy in the midst, so he drove us crazy.
Sunday morning, drinking our traditional soup after Church. My Step Mother was wearing her pink pants suits, while standing behind my brother like the general in command.
Yes, I had to erase the two girls standing behind me. My sister said they were the maids daughter. Trust me, you wouldn’t want to see what they really looked like. Let’s just say, I have a strong feeling, God ran out of beauty powder when He was creating them. Although, they were still my little friends, and I guess I must have been very nice to them since they both chose to stand next to me.
My younger sister’s first communion. Yes, I chopped off our legs because they were too sexy. You see my gorgeous older sister in yellow? She was the only one posing as if were in an audition for a movie. My younger sister and I were too young to understand the importance of holding our breath while we posed for the picture. Not only that, our legs looked like two chopped off giant trees.
Yes, we were wearing our shower caps, swimming caps were scarce. What do you expect? We were still living in Haïti. Can’t’ you tell with the blinding sun shining over our face.
My father is the handsome man in the middle. Very typical of him to plan our weekends and vacation ahead of time.
It was a perfect picture, but now, my brother is forever gone.
Yes, one major piece of our family puzzle is missing. But, his kindness and sense humor will never be forgotten; as his memory will forever remain engraved in our heart and mind.
Farewell, my dear brother Patrick Moïse. We love you and will remain truly blessed to have had you as our brother!