Month: August 2015
Special thanks to mairacharmed for nominating me for
the Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award.
Please note her link below.
I’m asked to write about my blog, how I started?
I was cornered by life irony, so I thought writing should help me exhale and deal with all the stress… WordPress coincidentally crossed my mind, so I started my blog “Laughtermedicineforthesoul.”
Two advises to my fellow bloggers:
- Be consistent, take the time to thank your visitors.
- Have fun!
The answer to her questions are:
- Who is my favorite Author?……………. Elizabeth Gilbert
- Describe your perfect day.
Enough time for a few strokes on my canvas.
Sip a cup of tea while I play with my cat.
Walk for a few minutes.
After I write, write, write – at last, have my dinner with a nice glass of red wine!
Lastly, if I’m not too tired, watch a classic movie.
3. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Somewhere in Italy – France…writing my heart away.
I have nominated the following blogs for this award:
- Rosanne – https://wonderingrose.wordpress.com/about/
- Zee – https://lifeconfusions.wordpress.com/about/
- Sonniq – http://mynameisjamie.net/
Rules: (once again, copied from Mon 🙂 She’s got sooo many awards:) Seriously, check out her blog!)
1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to their blog.
2. Answer the questions that the blogger who nominated you has provided.
3. Nominate FOUR other bloggers.
Follow the link below for insruction how to proceed with your nomination. Have fun!
I heard you were taken by the first house you were shown. However, before you finalize the move, let’s take a ride back down memory lane together. So one day, you too might take the time to share with your children, “how I took the time to take you, to where I’m about to take you.”
- Remember, patience is a virtue. So, if you take the time to get on your knees, God will take the time off from His busy schedule to listen. Didn’t say He’ll take the time to answer you right away either, because He sure likes to take His sweet time in everything He does.
- Cleanness is essential. So, take the time to clean the house. I mean really take the time to clean. Don’t just take the time to sweep and mop, I mean take the time to wash-wash-wash-even-scrape, if you have to!
- Well, although you mind is already made up, I do hope you got yourself a good fish. Even if it’s not pristine quality, you should be able to enjoy it anyway. But, before you cook it, wash it toughly, then, dazzle a little mint all inside, then bathe it with some oil, preferably deep fry it. And, while you’re eating it, if you take your time to digest it well, you should harvest the fruit of your labor in less than a year.
- However, I sure hope you didn’t buy some liver, gizzard, cow feet, or chicken legs, instead of the fish. If so, I’m warning you, the result will not be the same.
- I also hope you got yourself a nice color too. Like yellow or white; wouldn’t mind a little light chocolate either. But, don’t waste your time carrying no damn charcoal to your house. You don’t need to look far to see we already have enough of that.
- So after you take the time to do all of the above, you should close your bedroom door, and take the time to enjoy yourself all night. So next time I come to visit, as I just did your brother where I came from, when I take the time to look at my grandchildren, I won’t feel the urge to disown you too.
My cat Mikko thinks he can bully us around. At one point, he was the chief terrorist in our neighborhood. But, when he became sick, he was treated, then we decided to transition him to an in-house cat. Of course, it’s a nerve-racking transition for him.
He still craves to go outside. He has nightly tantrum and refuses to let us sleep. To get our attention, he’ll scratch the windows, doors, runs back and forth all over the house; even Jump on the bed, dresser, slams his head/ his body against anything he can manage to break.
I swear this cat does not think he’s an animal.
So last night, when he noticed he was being ignored in spite of his unbelievable bandit performance, he decided to attack his little friend Moina, our female cat. At last, the poor cat was forced to hide inside the closet. But Mikko was still not satisfied. So when I tried to intervene, he turned toward me to hiss at me like a snake.
“Mikko, you better stop it!” I yelled back. But he was way too angry. So he turned around to say,
“Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww – get the hell out of here!
For the first time I was really scared of my cat, but I couldn’t show him that. So I stared back at him and yelled:
“MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW – YOU BETTER STOP OR I WILL TAKE YOU THERE MYSELF!!!”
I did such an unbelievable performance, that Mikko froze for a few seconds; while he stared at me, he then ran to hide under the bed.
Well, I’m not certain what really drove him away – between my roaring tone of voice or my horns?
But one thing I was certain of, “Cats can see demons.
My father has always been a man of few words, but last week I realized we had much more in common. I kept track of a whole day conversation between us, starting after breakfast.
“Papy, are you done eating?”
“Oh yes, forgot the other glass!”
Now I started writing while he was reading.
Two hours later:
“You ok Papy?
Two more hours, he’s still reading, while I’m writing.
Annoyed by my errors, I said:
Are you ok?
An hours later:
An hour later, he walks toward the glass door:
Together we said: “Over 10 of them!”
“Wow!” I answered.
“Wow! They’re eating all the plants.” (He said)
I resumed my writing while he’s opening the mails. Not a spoken word between us, till about an hour later when my loudmouth daughter walked through the front doorr.
“HI PAPY! How was your day?
Papy and I quickly glanced at each other, the we both nod our head to say:
“Oops! The drum is here!”
I had such a horrible day yesterday, I seriously wanted to end my life. So I walked miles away near the beach to drawn myself. But after I tasted the first wave of salty water I reasoned: “There has to be a more glorious way to die.” I may wish to die, but I certainly don’t want to look like a swollen corpse for my viewing!
So I decided to relax my body on the sand while all along thinking on my next step. Maybe I should attempt to strangle myself? Then I imagined my tongue sticking out, with my eyes bulging out. Oops! That’s not a pretty site either!
Ok. About if I were to drink some household cleaning products? Between Clorox and ammonia, they should do the job! That was before I realized how strong their smell. Don’t you think so? Besides, they can’t possibly taste that great either! And to top it all, my corpse would become a toxic waste, and I certainly don’t want to contaminate the earth. Hey! Mother earth does not deserve that, OK!
About if I ran in front of a large truck? Then my remains would have to be scraped off the street. About if a chunk of my face were left behind? My children would probably be heartbroken, so it might be a waste of energy since they’ll be forced to identify me?
Lastly, I could have a Med-shake, from a mixture of Tylenol, Aspirin, and Nightquill. Then I thought, “About if I don’t really die? Then I would risk being rushed to the hospital, with a nurse ripping a tube down my nose, in order to drain the nasty mixture from my stomach. YOK! I don’t want to feel any pain before I die!
My mind was so exhausted, I needed to rest. So I thought, why not think about this tomorrow? Then it dawns on me: “Why not address my maker?” He should be able to help me out, don’t you think? I’m told creation is His specialty, so He may even invent a whole new death trap for me.
“Ok God, I’m laying down here feeling drained and hopeless. You can either give me a brilliant idea how to end my life, or send the angels of death to pick me up. I know I really don’t need to tell You the reason why I want to end my life today because you are a nosy God anyway. so You already know the deal.”
A couple hours later, as if I wasn’t already having a horrible day, my daughter came home with the mindset to make me wish I was truly dead.
“You have not been talking Mom, and I want to know your plan? “Mom, you have to talk to me, you’re not shutting up on me… “This is not good for you, you must express yourself! Blablabla!”
All along I could not stop asking God: “Are you for real? This is the best death trap you can think of?”
I don’t know if you’ve heard, “He may not answers when you expect Him to, but “He’s always on time.” Just when I thought I would shut up, and let my daughter drain the last string of life from me. She repeated:
“No Mom. You are not shutting down on me!” What is going on?” So I yelled:
“I FREAKING DON’T –WANT-TO – LIVE-ANYMORE, so leave me alone!”
“Really!” She answered. “So you think you are the only one who feels this way? Sometimes I wish I was dead myself!”
I was so shocked, I just starred at her. Then I thought: “Is this child crazy? After I sacrificed my life, worked like a maniac to provide for her. She went to one of the best university; how could she possibly wish her death, when she’s only twenty-four?” I better stay alive to make sure she’s kidding me!”
So, after a long walk, I went back to bed. Suddenly I remembered seeing a small parcel by the door. When I noted it was for me, I was thrilled. “Oh my God! I don’t want to die before I read the “Novel & Short Story Writer’s Market 2016!”
The moral to this story? “Never give up! And when you think you have it bad, take a good look around you!”
My sister, niece, including one of my daughters, were all waiting for the arrival of my siblings, who are Jehovah Witnesses. As I wrote in my previous post, they were on their way to see our father. As for me, I was seating on the dining room table with my PC open on a blank page, waiting to capture this historic encounter for my humor blog.
But I must tell you, my daughter was still in denial. She refuses to believe my siblings would not speak to me because I previously renounced the Jehovah witness teachings after nearly four years studying with them.
“Mom, I know Tatie (auntie) and uncle would never stop talking to you because of that. So today if you talk to them, I’m sure they will answer you.”
“No Cassie, the perfectionist fake Christians think I’m the offspring of Satan, therefore they are forbidden to speak to me.“
The last conversation my brother and I had after he was ordained to be an elder. He told me “contrary to the ordinary members, as an elder now, he had the authority to talk to me, only with the hope to rescue my soul.”
I answered him “If you think you have the right to judge me as a repulsive soul, the authority you think you have must be hidden inside your pants, preferably inside your shithole!”
“I’m an ordained Elder from the J.W. organization, so yes I have the authority!” He replied proudly.”
I was annoyed by his arrogance. “Oh yeah! Your authority came from men, and not of God, now Am I obliged to listen to you, so take a hike!”
After a brief silence, he said: “Well, apparently you are listening to all the other preachers. As you know, Satan is the God of this world, and all the other religions who are teaching heaven as their final destination are under his jurisdiction. So you just chose your own destruction.”
“Yes brother! And YOU the Jehovah Witnesses are the freaking lowest level souls, who know nothing about love or charity, compassion or forgiveness. You destroy family ties, even moral values and tradition through your false teachings. You aim to take from the world while giving nothing in return. It’s a good thing your hope being earthbound for eternity, so all of heaven SHIT will be falling on you guys! Great reason for us to add cabbage to our daily meal!”
This morning when I asked Life:
“Couldn’t you provide us with a manual, the day you dropped us here bathed in blood and slime?”
He answered: “Are you kidding me – Then take all the fun away?”
So I replied: “Oh yeah! On your next tease, I hope your mouth remain frozen!”
Two of my siblings are on their way to visit Papy, (our Father) since he hasn’t been well. The fact is, while I’m looking forward to seeing them, I doubt their feeling are reciprocal toward me.
Yap, you heard me right! Last I heard, I’m considered like an atheist, and a member of Babylon the great, and lastly one of Satan’s offspring.
Unfortunately for me, according to the Jehovah’s Witness teaching, my soul is now doomed for the pending destruction, with all the other unbelievers.
Why? After I was suffocated with “THEIR VERSION OF THE TRUTH,” I had enough sense to say “Hell no!” Thankfully, afterward I took off running at the speed of lightning when I decided no religious organization will further determine my eternal destination. And because of this fact, my siblings were provided with an allergic prescription, just for our future encounters.
The last time my” Holy” siblings and I had a loving conversation was back in 1988, prior to the three elders visit, from the Jehovah Witness organization. I had just walked in from a prayer meeting when I saw them walking toward my front door. They held a manila folder, which apparently kept a record of my spiritual encounter during my insane years with their organization.
“We’ve been informed that you are currently visiting other denominations, the churches from Babylon the great, is it true?”
“Yes, your honor it is!”
“Do you understand this action on your part is ground for reproof? So do you intend to stop this venture?”
“No Sir. In fact “My soul is rejoicing in the Lord, and as long as they have not asked me to sacrifice my soul to Satan, or to join your future master in Hell, I see no reason to stop joining their prayer group.”
“In this case, you must renounce your title as a “Jehovah’s Witness.”
“My pleasure your honor!”
“You must write a letter with the following… request, so we in turn will submit it to our headquarter in New York.”
“My pleasure Sir!”
What I was instructed to write: “As of today, I no longer wish to be part of Jehovah’s organization.”
What I wrote: “It has come to my understanding, for the past four years, I have been part of Satan’s organization here on earth. So today I’m boldly renouncing my association with the Jehovah Witness organization. Instead, I’m joining the true army of the Living God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth!” Yes, I still hold to the fact that Jesus Christ died for my sin, and yes He is my Lord and Savior. Furthermore, I believe in the baptism and the gifts of the Holy Spirit, contrary to the teachings of your organization. I believe in the fervent prayers of the body of Christ, and those I once called “The unbelievers,” are now my beloved brothers and sisters in Christ.”
After the elders read my letter, the expression on their face was by far one of the most memorable event of my life.
As they stood up together, they pointed their hands toward me, to recite what they believed to be their final decree upon my spiritual walk:
They said: “Whatsoever we bind on earth, shall be bound in heaven, and whatsoe…”
Unfortunately for them, all along I was negotiating with the following thoughts:
- Remember even Jesus had tantrum?
- So you think you only inherited your civilized paternal side…?
- Grandma Do, would season this nonsense with some lemon and hot pepper for a feast, and top it with some Rhum!
- Finally I said: “ I know you’ve asked us to die in the flesh, but I’m not there yet, so please forgive me.”
“Child, only God is your judge! So, get those ignorant punk out of your house!”
“YOU PUNK – GET OUT- OF- MY – HOUSE!!!” I yelled.
I still recalled how my sister answered me that day:
“I have nothing in common with an unbeliever! Don’t bother to call our brother either!” I was honestly wounded by that. We grew up together, and I loved her very much. But, her arrogance prompted me to answer her!
“Ok. If you ever decide to knock on heaven’s door, I will make sure I drag the latter under your feet, so you can fall back on earth, where your freaking religion claim you’ll be spending eternity!
As unbelievable as it may sound, the Jehovah’s Witness teachings were not the only poison which almost summoned me to the hospice department. Now after years of exposure with other denomination, I’ve learned to set my own religious standard. I will boldly worship with other Christ believers, while I’m there, I will dance and praise God as if it was my last day breathing. But I hold firm this belief, my spiritual walk will remain a personal journey between me and my Lord, and no one will ever have the chance to deter me again.
Meanwhile, I intend to love genuinely, forgive abundantly, while I embrace the wisdom life has to offer. And, whenever I damn please, I will feast with a glass of red wine and laugh my heart to healing.
And while I dance my traditional Kompa, to the beat of the drums from my homeland; if anyone dare to question why? I will answer:
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”
THE GOOLD OLD DAYS!
Growing up in Haïti, my Father was not only a good provider, but he was a creature of habits as well. We faithfully went to the Drive in Theater every Friday night. We had Ice cream every Sunday. And, he always made sure we went to church every weekend. Unless, he was driving us to the Country Side.
No, I did not say he himself went to church, rather he made sure we were in church. Yes, we believed in God. I’m sure my Father did too. But, to be honest, God had nothing to do with our faithful church attendance back then.
Of course, we greeted him with the sign of the cross, once we arrived at the Church! Don’t you think it would be disrespectful to walk inside a man’s house, and not even devote one second to say at least “Hello!”
For a fact, the most pressing reason why my sisters and I looked forward to Sunday Mass, was just so we can check out the latest fashion. Yes, we practically wore a new outfit every Sunday. For that purpose, we needed to keep up with the latest style. As for my brother? Well! I think he was pre-occupied conversing with God about all His gorgeous female creations!
So, let me share with you our typical conversation during ongoing Mass:
|My Older Sister||Me||My younger Sister||My Brother|
|“Look at that yellow dress to my right, center bench!”||“The one with the lace, or the belt? Because the lace one is mine for next Sunday!”||“Which one? Where? I don’t see anything!”||“Beautiful! She looks cultured, got to have her number!”|
|“Oh! You like the one with the lace? That’s pretty too!”||“Yeah! I can sew it with the blue fabric Papy brought me? Will wear my hair up!”||“Where? Which one? Don’t see anything!”||“OMG! Is it Angel day today? Look at that face? Truly made by God’s hands. Am dying here, DYING!|
|“Now, that’s a purse! Look at her matching shoes!”||“LOOK AT THE JEWELRY and the scarf! I bet you they are from Paris! Her mother own “La Trouvaille Boutique!”||“Don’t see anything! Oh! Talking about her? She’s in my school!”||“OMG! I’m in love! Wonder if her brother will give me a hard time?”|
|“Amen! While she kneels down. “Wow! He is cute!”||“Amen!” While I kneel down! “That ugly boy is staring at me, how freaky is that?”||“Amen!”
While she kneels down.” I wonder if the soup is ready at home!Oh! She’s in my school too!”
|“Amen!” While He kneels down. “Please Saint Altagrace, if you make her look at me, I won’t bug you till next Sunday!”|
|“It’s time for Communion let’s go! Take a good look at the dress for me ok?”||“Check out the front neckline, and any details as she walks by!”||“Is Thomas waiting for us outside? I’m hungry, hope we have some French bread!”||“OMG! She was right in front of me, she smells like fresh roses! But her brother was too close, couldn’t ask for her number!”|
|“So did you see that dress? Definitely my next Sundays outfit!”||“Oh my God, how gross? He asked me for my number!”||“His sister goes to my school, his the colonel son!”||“Who asked you for your number? How dare him?”|
So, at last while at the dinner table, while we’re sipping our traditional Sunday soup; if Papy were to ask us:
“What was the subject of the Mass today?”
“My older sister would answer: “About God’s infinite grace and providence!”
“My younger sister: “I think it was about the life of Saint Augustine, I was too hungry to listen.”
Me: “It was about God’s creations, all the beautiful jewelry, fabrics, flowers, and that ugly boy who winked at me.”
My brother: “Yes! His graceful beautiful providence left me charmed!”
When my sister who’s a nurse mentioned my father is reflecting dementia symptoms, I completely refused to believe her. Of course I was in denial! I didn’t want to remember my father as the helpless elder he had become; I would rather see him as the sound minded engineer he once was.
During the past two weeks, I’ve been in charge of his meal, while my sister takes charge of the grocery. I’m enjoying spending quality time with my father. We eat and chat, but whenever he dosed off to sleep, I focus on my writing.
One morning after I asked him for his choice of meal? He specifically requested for some eggs, which I prepared to his liking. In fact, he even gave me a compliment, which is rare. My father can be a harsh food critic.
“How is the egg Papy?”
“Very good! Just the way I like it!”
After he ate two eggs, once slice of bread, one banana, half a cup of V-eight, quart glass of milk; he munched on a bag of hot chips, which my daughter had brought him a couple days ago. Then, he grabbed his phone, which led me to believe he was searching for a number. About two hours later, he was still searching.
“Papy, are you looking for a phone number?”
“No, I’m waiting on you for, for, the, the food!”
“What food Papy?”
“What do you mean by “what food? You haven’t served me my breakfast!”
“Papy, you just ate your breakfast!”
“Me? I just woke up, came to sit on the table to wait on you!”
“Ok Papy, what would you like to eat this morning?”
“He thought for a second, “What do you have here? Whatever you have!”
“Would you like some eggs?”
“Ok, give me that!”
So after I prepared two eggs, toasted some bread, add some fruits… I placed the plate in front of him;
He stares at me for a few seconds, then laughed hysterically:
“Are you suffering from dementia? You just fed me! I guess I should be taking care of you, instead of you caring for me!”
Although my heart was aching, the incident was too funny. So I laughed my heart to tears.
On that same day, when my daughter came to see him, after she kissed him she asked:
“How you doing Grandpa?”
He answered: “Your mother is losing her mind, fed me breakfast twice, I haven’t had a bite to eat, since this morning!”