Month: August 2015
Special thanks to mairacharmed for nominating me for
the Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award.
Please note her link below.
I’m asked to write about my blog, how I started?
I was cornered by life irony, so I thought writing should help me exhale and deal with all the stress… WordPress coincidentally crossed my mind, so I started my blog “Laughtermedicineforthesoul.”
Two advises to my fellow bloggers:
- Be consistent, take the time to thank your visitors.
- Have fun!
The answer to her questions are:
- Who is my favorite Author?……………. Elizabeth Gilbert
- Describe your perfect day.
Enough time for a few strokes on my canvas.
Sip a cup of tea while I play with my cat.
Walk for a few minutes.
After I write, write, write – at last, have my dinner with a nice glass of red wine!
Lastly, if I’m not too tired, watch a classic movie.
3. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Somewhere in Italy – France…writing my heart away.
I have nominated the following blogs for this award:
- Rosanne – https://wonderingrose.wordpress.com/about/
- Zee – https://lifeconfusions.wordpress.com/about/
- Sonniq – http://mynameisjamie.net/
Rules: (once again, copied from Mon 🙂 She’s got sooo many awards:) Seriously, check out her blog!)
1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to their blog.
2. Answer the questions that the blogger who nominated you has provided.
3. Nominate FOUR other bloggers.
Follow the link below for insruction how to proceed with your nomination. Have fun!
I heard you were taken by the first house you were shown. However, before you finalize the move, let’s take a ride back down memory lane together. So one day, you too might take the time to share with your children, “how I took the time to take you, to where I’m about to take you.”
- Remember, patience is a virtue. So, if you take the time to get on your knees, God will take the time off from His busy schedule to listen. Didn’t say He’ll take the time to answer you right away either, because He sure likes to take His sweet time in everything He does.
- Cleanness is essential. So, take the time to clean the house. I mean really take the time to clean. Don’t just take the time to sweep and mop, I mean take the time to wash-wash-wash-even-scrape, if you have to!
- Well, although you mind is already made up, I do hope you got yourself a good fish. Even if it’s not pristine quality, you should be able to enjoy it anyway. But, before you cook it, wash it toughly, then, dazzle a little mint all inside, then bathe it with some oil, preferably deep fry it. And, while you’re eating it, if you take your time to digest it well, you should harvest the fruit of your labor in less than a year.
- However, I sure hope you didn’t buy some liver, gizzard, cow feet, or chicken legs, instead of the fish. If so, I’m warning you, the result will not be the same.
- I also hope you got yourself a nice color too. Like yellow or white; wouldn’t mind a little light chocolate either. But, don’t waste your time carrying no damn charcoal to your house. You don’t need to look far to see we already have enough of that.
- So after you take the time to do all of the above, you should close your bedroom door, and take the time to enjoy yourself all night. So next time I come to visit, as I just did your brother where I came from, when I take the time to look at my grandchildren, I won’t feel the urge to disown you too.
My cat Mikko thinks he can bully us around. At one point, he was the chief terrorist in our neighborhood. But, when he became sick, he was treated, then we decided to transition him to an in-house cat. Of course, it’s a nerve-racking transition for him.
He still craves to go outside. He has nightly tantrum and refuses to let us sleep. To get our attention, he’ll scratch the windows, doors, runs back and forth all over the house; even Jump on the bed, dresser, slams his head/ his body against anything he can manage to break.
I swear this cat does not think he’s an animal.
So last night, when he noticed he was being ignored in spite of his unbelievable bandit performance, he decided to attack his little friend Moina, our female cat. At last, the poor cat was forced to hide inside the closet. But Mikko was still not satisfied. So when I tried to intervene, he turned toward me to hiss at me like a snake.
“Mikko, you better stop it!” I yelled back. But he was way too angry. So he turned around to say,
“Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww – get the hell out of here!
For the first time I was really scared of my cat, but I couldn’t show him that. So I stared back at him and yelled:
“MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW – YOU BETTER STOP OR I WILL TAKE YOU THERE MYSELF!!!”
I did such an unbelievable performance, that Mikko froze for a few seconds; while he stared at me, he then ran to hide under the bed.
Well, I’m not certain what really drove him away – between my roaring tone of voice or my horns?
But one thing I was certain of, “Cats can see demons.
My father has always been a man of few words, but last week I realized we had much more in common. I kept track of a whole day conversation between us, starting after breakfast.
“Papy, are you done eating?”
“Oh yes, forgot the other glass!”
Now I started writing while he was reading.
Two hours later:
“You ok Papy?
Two more hours, he’s still reading, while I’m writing.
Annoyed by my errors, I said:
Are you ok?
An hours later:
An hour later, he walks toward the glass door:
Together we said: “Over 10 of them!”
“Wow!” I answered.
“Wow! They’re eating all the plants.” (He said)
I resumed my writing while he’s opening the mails. Not a spoken word between us, till about an hour later when my loudmouth daughter walked through the front doorr.
“HI PAPY! How was your day?
Papy and I quickly glanced at each other, the we both nod our head to say:
“Oops! The drum is here!”
I had such a horrible day yesterday, I seriously wanted to end my life. So I walked miles away near the beach to drawn myself. But after I tasted the first wave of salty water I reasoned: “There has to be a more glorious way to die.” I may wish to die, but I certainly don’t want to look like a swollen corpse for my viewing!
So I decided to relax my body on the sand while all along thinking on my next step. Maybe I should attempt to strangle myself? Then I imagined my tongue sticking out, with my eyes bulging out. Oops! That’s not a pretty site either!
Ok. About if I were to drink some household cleaning products? Between Clorox and ammonia, they should do the job! That was before I realized how strong their smell. Don’t you think so? Besides, they can’t possibly taste that great either! And to top it all, my corpse would become a toxic waste, and I certainly don’t want to contaminate the earth. Hey! Mother earth does not deserve that, OK!
About if I ran in front of a large truck? Then my remains would have to be scraped off the street. About if a chunk of my face were left behind? My children would probably be heartbroken, so it might be a waste of energy since they’ll be forced to identify me?
Lastly, I could have a Med-shake, from a mixture of Tylenol, Aspirin, and Nightquill. Then I thought, “About if I don’t really die? Then I would risk being rushed to the hospital, with a nurse ripping a tube down my nose, in order to drain the nasty mixture from my stomach. YOK! I don’t want to feel any pain before I die!
My mind was so exhausted, I needed to rest. So I thought, why not think about this tomorrow? Then it dawns on me: “Why not address my maker?” He should be able to help me out, don’t you think? I’m told creation is His specialty, so He may even invent a whole new death trap for me.
“Ok God, I’m laying down here feeling drained and hopeless. You can either give me a brilliant idea how to end my life, or send the angels of death to pick me up. I know I really don’t need to tell You the reason why I want to end my life today because you are a nosy God anyway. so You already know the deal.”
A couple hours later, as if I wasn’t already having a horrible day, my daughter came home with the mindset to make me wish I was truly dead.
“You have not been talking Mom, and I want to know your plan? “Mom, you have to talk to me, you’re not shutting up on me… “This is not good for you, you must express yourself! Blablabla!”
All along I could not stop asking God: “Are you for real? This is the best death trap you can think of?”
I don’t know if you’ve heard, “He may not answers when you expect Him to, but “He’s always on time.” Just when I thought I would shut up, and let my daughter drain the last string of life from me. She repeated:
“No Mom. You are not shutting down on me!” What is going on?” So I yelled:
“I FREAKING DON’T –WANT-TO – LIVE-ANYMORE, so leave me alone!”
“Really!” She answered. “So you think you are the only one who feels this way? Sometimes I wish I was dead myself!”
I was so shocked, I just starred at her. Then I thought: “Is this child crazy? After I sacrificed my life, worked like a maniac to provide for her. She went to one of the best university; how could she possibly wish her death, when she’s only twenty-four?” I better stay alive to make sure she’s kidding me!”
So, after a long walk, I went back to bed. Suddenly I remembered seeing a small parcel by the door. When I noted it was for me, I was thrilled. “Oh my God! I don’t want to die before I read the “Novel & Short Story Writer’s Market 2016!”
The moral to this story? “Never give up! And when you think you have it bad, take a good look around you!”
My sister, niece, including one of my daughters, were all waiting for the arrival of my siblings, who are Jehovah Witnesses. As I wrote in my previous post, they were on their way to see our father. As for me, I was seating on the dining room table with my PC open on a blank page, waiting to capture this historic encounter for my humor blog.
But I must tell you, my daughter was still in denial. She refuses to believe my siblings would not speak to me because I previously renounced the Jehovah witness teachings after nearly four years studying with them.
“Mom, I know Tatie (auntie) and uncle would never stop talking to you because of that. So today if you talk to them, I’m sure they will answer you.”
“No Cassie, the perfectionist fake Christians think I’m the offspring of Satan, therefore they are forbidden to speak to me.“
The last conversation my brother and I had after he was ordained to be an elder. He told me “contrary to the ordinary members, as an elder now, he had the authority to talk to me, only with the hope to rescue my soul.”
I answered him “If you think you have the right to judge me as a repulsive soul, the authority you think you have must be hidden inside your pants, preferably inside your shithole!”
“I’m an ordained Elder from the J.W. organization, so yes I have the authority!” He replied proudly.”
I was annoyed by his arrogance. “Oh yeah! Your authority came from men, and not of God, now Am I obliged to listen to you, so take a hike!”
After a brief silence, he said: “Well, apparently you are listening to all the other preachers. As you know, Satan is the God of this world, and all the other religions who are teaching heaven as their final destination are under his jurisdiction. So you just chose your own destruction.”
“Yes brother! And YOU the Jehovah Witnesses are the freaking lowest level souls, who know nothing about love or charity, compassion or forgiveness. You destroy family ties, even moral values and tradition through your false teachings. You aim to take from the world while giving nothing in return. It’s a good thing your hope being earthbound for eternity, so all of heaven SHIT will be falling on you guys! Great reason for us to add cabbage to our daily meal!”
This morning when I asked Life:
“Couldn’t you provide us with a manual, the day you dropped us here bathed in blood and slime?”
He answered: “Are you kidding me – Then take all the fun away?”
So I replied: “Oh yeah! On your next tease, I hope your mouth remain frozen!”