Month: June 2015
I’ve been waiting for YOU to show up. Hell YOU!
“Excuse you, but I’m not ‘Hell or YOU” My name is DESTINY.”
“I know who you are, and I’m furious at you – Look at my life! In fact, let me start talking, because I need to unload my chest.”
“OK. Now that I’ve removed the knife from the counter, you don’t happen to have a gun, do you?”
“Of course not! I may be furious, but I’m not a murderer!”
“They all say that dear – Please, do continue.”
“Ok. How come there are doctors, nurses, engineers, nutritionist, attorneys, teachers, artist, chef, even a con-artist in my family. I’ve been told everyone has a destiny. But I’m fifty plus years old, and still yet to discover mine. Who the hell am I supposed to be?”
“How the hell should I know? I’m not your “Maker!” If I were you, I would just pick one missing from the list you just mentioned.”
“What? What kind of answer is this? You are not helping me!”
“I don’t recall greeting you with “May I help you?” In fact, when I showed up, I DID SAY “Peekaboo,” didn’t I? Now you see me, now you don’t!”
“What’s that supposed to mean? If you are my destiny, you are supposed to know that at least.”
“Oh dear! I’m everyone’s DESTINY. This is my name, remember?”
“So, you should know my faith!”
“Oh no dear. This is between you and your Maker, I don’t meddle in the mater of religion.”
“Religion? Who said anything about religion?”
“You just mentioned faith didn’t you? Or did you mean to say “fate?”
I’m talking about my destiny, so of course I meant to say fate.”
“Oh honey, you need to learn how to spell then.”
“OMG! Are you FOR REAL?”
“Oh dear, rage won’t’ help you either!”
“DESTINY, I need some answers from you. SO STOP IT!”
Honey, I don’t have the answers you are seeking. I’m DESTINY, therefore I’m in the future, not the present. But I guarantee you: If you search deep within, you will discover the answers which you are seeking, along with all the tools you will need, for your journey. Then, only one thing will be left for you to do: Just learn how to use them. For these tools were given to you, so they may guide you through every steps, till you reach your destined path. But, I guarantee you, if you step up forward, through the road of resilience, make a right turn. Then cross the valleys, and climbs up the hills ahead. Remember, no matter how many times you will stumble and fall, you must force yourself to get up, and keep moving forward. Because, after you’ve defeated your demons, and, at the mountaintop of victory, right there, at the appointed time; I will be standing waiting for you.”
“You cheater! You only show up at the end!”
“Wouldn’t you? I’m DESTINY. I cannot afford to get dirty!”
“TIME is a good TIME – TIME is favor – TIME is appointed – Did someone Called?”
“No need to tell me who you are! You”
“Indeed-deed! I’m TIME. So tell me: “ Did DEATH disappeared when He heard my voice?”
“Yes he did. Why are you asking – and why are you talking so fast?”
“Because I’m TIME, and I don’t have TIME to waste. “1 o’clock … 3 o’clock…7 o’clock … o’clock……..”
“Why on earth you keep on repeating the time?”
“This is my job dear – “Midnight … 2 A.M… …In fact, I’m answering to those who are asking for the TIME worldwide. “1:30… 3 o’clock ………. Yes, I SAID 3 A.M! “My goodness! I thought the invention of all the electronic devices would make my job much easier now, but nooo – The turtle travelers are still asking for the “TIME.” As you can see, my job is not easy dear.”
“OMG! Are you serious? You mean you are constantly hearing these voices of …”
“Yes, they’re crystal clear!”
“I would go insane!”
“I thought you were already! You are speaking to me, aren’t you?”
“What? I didn’t call you here. Remember I”
“Well, honestly speaking, I’m just doing my job dear. Besides, I’m the master of focus. I’m not one to budge nor waiver. I only travel within my perimeter, because on any given day, my journey must remain constant, and steadfast.
“But you do budge. Your needle d”
“I SAID: “I only travel within my perimeter!”
“You don’t have to yell at”
“Let me continue PLEASE! I don’t have TIME to waste. So, listen carefully: ” LIFE and I (TIME) are two Grand Masters, and we share equally the same power. Wherever LIFE is present, there I Am as well. Yes, we work together. Therefore, the couple by the name of Mr. Lazy, and Ms. procrastination hate us with a passion. While DEATH oppose us, Goodness and favor are or treats; Success applauds us.”
“Wow, that’s profound! But TIME, you are known to be a thief – even death said so. You failed to mention th.”
“Yes. So is the rumor. But the fact is, “I’m a giver – in fact, I’m an abundant giver. I always repay any lost, or stolen treats. Yes, whatever time one may have lost unfairly, I do repay them trough wisdom and memory.”
“How nice of you! Although, TIME does somehow fly away, and”
“MAY I BRING TO YOUR ATTENTION “Twenty-four hours, are still equal to one thousand, four hundred forty minute regardless, the season, year, or location. Am I correct?”
“I don’t work with” but” – I have no patience for excuses, ignorance and laziness dear.”
“My God, you are so rude! And”
“Not rude. I’m rather focus and discipline. You guys are full of excuses. And to prove my point, consider the following: “A president and a bank robber, who were born at the same time, and died at the same age;; at exactly eight o’clock in the morning, on the same day. Were they not granted equally the same life spend? “
“I said, “I don’t’ work with ‘but!!!” My conclusion to this brief prelude: “LIFE and TIME are granted to all. Wisdom is available to those who are willing to seek. While understanding is a virtue worth finding. Ignorance is not an excuse. DESTINY on the other hands, is a well-written map, with many loops and curves. Although it may be deferred, but rest assured, it will be revealed at an appointed TIME! So my dear, befriend DESTINY!”
To be continued.
When my grandson claimed he was hungry and was asked: “I thought you just ate dinner?”
He answered me, “Gamma, you know I had some wacaroti!”
“Wacaroti – you mean macaroni? But, your mom made spaghetti, not macaroni.”
“No gamma, Not tageti – We hat wa-ca-ro-ti I taid!”
“My apology dear! I was under the impression the long skinny flour mud you were pulling in your mouth earlier, was called spaghetti. And the little stars which you love to eat, with lots and lots of cheese, were called macaroni.”
“Tat totay gamma, tyou don’t need to wawoloti (to apology). Text time just task me how to tay tit. I will tit tyou – Ok gamma. Tyou know “I’m a smard, smard boy!”
Translation: “It’s ok Granma, you don’t need to apologize. Next time just ask me how to say it, and I will teach you – Ok gamma. You know I’m a smart, smart boy!”
“Yes you are. In fact, Japan should tikle your brain for the name of their new car. Better yet, perhaps they should ask you permission to use “wacaroti or wawoloti” for their 2016 model.”
“Yes gamma! You are a tenuis! I twant a wacaroti car; a dlue one, your faaavorite tolor!”
Tranlation: “Yes grandma, you are a genius. I want a spaghetti car. A blue one. Your faaavorite color!”
So here you have it! If you happen to see “wacaroti or wawoloti” new car driving around, it’s my grandson invention. Watch out for the driver of the sky blue model!
I said Hell – Low!!!
“Believe me, I heard you the first time! But, did you realized you just said “Hell-Low” instead of Hello?”
Yeah! I’m the official marketing director for Hell. So I try to included Hell, in everything I hell say. You know the hell I’m talking about? So hell, may lllllling-ger around, even after I get the hell away from you!”
“What a discussing thing to do? No wonder you look like death with your skeleton self!”
“The hell excuse me dear! I don’t look like death. But I aaaam DEATH! “I have no flesh, no guts, plus I’m deaf. Well! – Partially deaf. I can only hear dialogs like we’re having. But when it comes to begging, weeping and sobbing, I can’t hear a thing.”
“Mmm! I wonder why?”
“The hell you’re slow! Do I have to spell it out to you? My job requires me to confirm “You- are –dead. Mort. Mortuum. Muerto. Morto. Tot. Marbh!!! You get my point? Yes. So your family won’t have to burry you alive. You know the scripture: “For dust you are and to dust you will return.” Yap! This is my hellish job – But you guys sure hate me for that! The hell with you all!”
“Death, what do you expect from us – you are bad news!”
“The hell I am NOT! That highmighty, “cette prétencieuse” self righteous woman who summoned me here today, is the carrier of bad news. She’s the one who keeps up with time, to serve me with the Life termination notice. Read a sample below:
“Hey dark soul! Please see below.
Death Termination Notice For:
Name … Address… Specific time…Soul level Light __________ Or Darkness _______”
P.S. “Don’t show up before your time. I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE!”
So you see, after LIFE takes herself out of the equation, I show up. My job is to test the flesh, and place my dead seal on it. And I’m done. The spirit does it share, while the soul angel does his, way before I came in the picture. But I’m am called the bad guy!”
“I can see your point of view. I noticed you tend to speak with a French accent, by any chance ar?”
“So you can herirt? Oh yers, yers! Although I’m nort Frenrch but I practiced the accenrt, so people will tendrr to pay atterntion to my voirce, and nort my face! Burt, if you “Ma Belle” don’t minerr, for nowr I wilr speark writ my nartive accenrt instead; since it hurt my tongre, and my bott when I speark writ a French Accenrt.”
“Did you say “it hurt you tongue and your butt when “
“The hell it does. But I only use it when I want to impress ladies. I once tried it on LIFE, but she did not budge. I can’t stand her beautiful self-righteous hell self.”
“Life, I would not budge either. You are not a handsome dude. Plus, from what she told me, she keeps company with the sun, the stars, oppor”
Yeah –yeah-yeah! HEARD IT ALL! I work for the “Big Guy” too, you know. But you guys think Satan is my boss. IT IS WRITTEN: “The Lord has made all for Himself. Yes, even the wicked for the day of doom.” HE”S a wise one, I tell you. Ok. I admit it. My company is more on the dark side. Spirits such as “Never enough, harassment, insanity, and every freak from the cemetery call me their friend. Look at me? I’m doomed for darkness! LIFE, LIGHT, BEAUTY, and not even WISDOM seek my company. I live in darkness, doomed for eternity; away from the Son, the merciful Lord.”
“DEATH, I’m assuming you’ve fallen from grace, was due to your past faulty actions. Perhaps, even too late to make amend. So I don’t really believe everything you saying, all I know you’re probably part of the lying spirits. And again, you still marketing for hell, instead of heaven, how so?”
“Oh well! Misery loves company! Hell! – I don’t live in hell – but I keep company with same like spirits. Haven’t you heard: “Tell me who your friends are, and I sure the hell will tell you who you are.” Yes, I have plenty of friends from there, and I intend to draw many more. It’s too late to make amends anyway. Was it Michelangelo who said: “If we have been pleased with life, we should not be displeased with death, since it comes from the hand of the same master?” So I have my reasons to believe, TIME is sure not going to give me another chance. TIME lost, is lost indeed. So one should be mindful to use it wisely while still living. For the memory of the dead are forgotten. So my advice to you “Ma Belle,” practice doing good, not evil. Yap, it’s too late for me! But, I tell you, TIME IS A THIEF!”
“TIME is a blessing – TIME is favor – TIME is a good TIMe – TIME is appointed – Did someone Called TIME?”
To be continued.
You think life would feel content with me just waking up this morning? Of course Not! I don’t know why you are called life when you are squeezing the life out of me! You should be called ‘death, and not life!”
-“I’m freaking tired, of you freaking wrongly accusing me, whenever you are freaking having a bad day!”
“Wow! LIFE, You must be having a bad day too!”
“What do you think? Let’s exchange post for just an hour! I bet, you wouldn’t last one minute!”
“Oh please, you are “LIFE” for God’s sake, how bad could it be?“
“HOW BAD? Are you serious?”
“Jesus! You sound like you are having your menstruation…just like a woman!”
“This is an everyday thing for me Nadege. Remember, I’m LIFE. Blood has to pump out of me EVERY SINGLE DAY! And you people don’t make it any easier either. I’ve been called every name in the book, and I’m TI-RED of it!”
“So, are you confirming being a female? I’ve often wondered about that!”
“Thou! You think God would give this tremendous responsibility to a male? No dear. WE, the female, carry all the load, although the male are viewed as the strong one. Yes, we carry the babies, (male and female) breast- feed them, clean the house, cook dinner, and don’t’ forget both jobs, in the bedroom and the office. While most of the male – will wear a suit, a tie, carry a briefcase, have a meeting; then come home to say: “Hew – It’s been a long day honey!”
“You nailed it LIFE. That’s the damn LIFE we have here on earth!”
“YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? Why do you have to blame ME? You guys not only called me the “B” word when I’m not even allowed to flirt with a man. Furthermore, I get the blame for every single thing that goes wrong in your life. Do you know how often you guys say: “That’s LIFE! – LIFE is a B!” -I AM Fed UP!!!”
But, I thought you just claimed you were “LIFE? Why are you calling yourself “Fed UP?”
“No. I said, “I – Am-fed –up with you guys blaming me for everything wrong in YOUR LIFE!!!”
“Boy! You have it bad this month, hen? Is there a pill you can take for this anger you’re feeling – because my ears drums are about to burst from YOUR SCREAMING SO LOUD! Damn it! “Remember, I started with a bad day too – Gosh!”
“LISTEN to me you ungrateful species: “ I dropped by to tell you: “I’m “LIFE.” I am paired with tremendous possibilities. I keep company with Inspiration and imagination for you guys sake. I call opportunities to your door steps, and all you have to do is to cease the moment. Although, for my amusement, there are times when they come in disguise. Nevertheless, they are yours to explore. Laughter, humor, pleasant memories, good health, and even gratitude, are all under my jurisdiction. Talents and self-exploration, are my special treats to you. My aura is nothing but light. Yes, I’m covered with the stars during the night, and the sun pave the way for me in the morning, yet not even darkness can blur me from your sight. So why do you guys persist on blaming me – calling my name whenever you are plagued with a challenge from darkness kemp?”
“Hell – Low! Did someone called my name?”
To be continued.
Yes. Jesus stepped back, then said: “Nadège, this is my Father calling you.” That’s When I heard again:
“NADEGE, I SAID COME HERE!!”
“Yes, your Honor – Your Excellence – God – I mean Heavenly Father. Your humble daughter is here!”
“What is this I heard? – I have 35,000 angels complaining about you – look at all these red files on my desk – What is GOING ON Young Lady?”
“Father, can you please repeat the last two words again?”
“Nadege, I’m not in the mood for humor!”
“Ok! Ok! Gosh! I mean, Father – If you don’t mind say so – Isn’t it a fact, you have innumerable angels? So if only 35,000 of them are complaining against me, don’t you think the fault lies with them, and not me? And, just to set the record clear, my last count was 19,000 plus angels, not 35….”
“No, Nadège. The 19,000 plus you are referring to, are your guardian angels. Apart from them, countless others were delegated to you – most of them were from the urgent care department. And I”
“Oh! Now I see! So you mean the “TEASING,” “HELP!,” and “LAUGHING” angels were all from the emergency Department too?”
“Yes. And you had your share of intervention from THEM– Their report were.”
‘AND DO-YOU-KNOW-WHY Father? “TEASING” for example, always try to tease me when I’m preparing for my Algebra class exam – One day I had to ask him: “Can you be serious for once?” He stormed out of the room and sent me a SERIOUS angel who looked just like King Kong.
On the other hands, HELP! saw me pulling my hair off, trying to figure out how I was going to pay my bills. He stood there like a Freak – I mean, like a mannequin. So when I finally turned and asked him: “You NEVER HELP me, why is..?” Before I could even finish my sentence, he was replaced by another frail looking angel.
“Who are you?” I asked him.
-“My name is NEVER HELP.”
-“What happened to “HELP!”?”
““You called for NEVER HELP didn’t you?”
That’s when the LAUGHING angel walked in as if he had a special invitation; laughing his heart out. So I said, “Are you FREAKING SERIOUS?”
By the time FREAKING SERIOUS angel showed up Father, he looks like an angel who never had time for leisure. He honestly looked so pale and stressed out, I felt compelled to help him out. When I asked him: “Have you ever heard of a suntan?” The poor angel had no idea of what I was referring to. So, after a long day at the beach, while he tried to smile, his face cracked, he decided to blame me. So, now that you’ve heard some of my encounters, I heard of you being a just judge, tell me how I’ve wronged those angels?”
“Mmmm! I see. In this case, let me review these complaints, then I w.”
“God, you mean, you haven’t even read the complaints against me, and.”
NADEGE, DON’T SPEAK TO ME IN THIS TONE OF VOICE!”
“Oh boy! Am I in trouble with you now?”
“NADEGE, I AM NOT A BOY, I AM – A – MAN!!!”
(Thinking) “Oh boy! I don’t like how this conversation is turning out.”
But God answered me: “I SAID I AM NOT A BOY!”
“Father, you should not invade my private thought, you are God, so you know better than that. “I was just thinking it, I did not speak it out loud!” Besides, if You are a MAN, why are we praying to you for? You word said, “Trust no men.”
God looked at me, with a deep breath, some of my files blew away into space. Complete silence for a few seconds.
Suddenly, all the angels appeared around God’s throne. While they were each pointing their fingers at me saying:
“Oh yes, that’s Smart mouth!”
“Yes, that’s Bad Ass!”
“Heaven No! She’s here?”
“Oh! My Almighty! Terror in the mist!”
“Mmm! That’s trouble alright!”………………………………….
As I heard all my nicknames, the complaints they murmured. I knew I had to think fast. I thought, “now even My Heavenly Father had ground to damn me.” He was looking too serious for me!. Finally, a brilliant thought crossed my mind. That’s when I screamed:
“Father, I’m guilty as charged! So, I plead the blood of Jesus. Yes! I’m pleading the blood of Jesus!”
“JESUS, WHERE ARE YOU? HELP! HELP!”
Then, all the angels stepped back. It was total silence again. Just then, my Heavenly father gave me that look, with a smile. “You smart child!” Then His facial demeanor changed back when He said: “Nadege, you.” Then I felt a presence next to me. It was Jesus, wearing a gold crown. He reached and grabbed my hands, as He took my place, He pushed me behind him. Then, He answered on my behalf:
“Father, she is forgiven!”
I stood there with a smile from Heaven to Asia, as I witnessed all my red files transforming into white doves. The doves flew away, simultaneously I was being carried by an angel. When I turned to look, to my shock it was the delivery angel.
“Hell no! I mean – Heaven no! Not you again. Put me down! PUT-ME –DOWN I SAID!”
When she finally did, I stuck my tongue at her as she walked away. But, when she turned back, she gave me “I will get you back look,” my lips were sealed, so I could not even open my mouth.
Thank God, the Lord re-appeared and grabbed me since I was just floating around. While He carried me back to earth, He said:
“Already in trouble hen?”
He smiled then said: “I know. I see you still think the delivery angel dropped you in the wrong country? But, keep this in mind pertaining to this matter. “For frankly I tell you this, “Heaven and earth may pass away, but my words will last forever.” Sometimes, a tree may be late blossoming. But I guarantee you, when it finally blooms, it will be the most beautiful and profitable, of all the late bloomers.”
He smiled again – As He placed his hand over my mouth and healed me
After I thanked Him, that’s when I jumped from my bed and realized: ” It was all a freaking DREAM!”
The Lord listened carefully to my version of the story. After I was done, he shook his head in disbelief and said: “I don’t see the need for you to dispute this case against you. The evidence is clear. You were being very disrespectful when you called her and “ugly old fool.”
“Lord, in my defense, I partially agree.”
“Lord, didn’t you tell us to “speak the truth, and the truth shall set us free”? This is exactly what I did in her case. In fact, she was the one being deceptive when she appeared as an old ugly woman. I’ve been in heaven for three consecutive days, I’m yet to see an ugly angel. So apparently, the angel of beauty meant to trigger my sharp tongue, when she disguised herself. And if the court rules in her favor, the other angels may feel tempted to follow her malicious behavior. And you’ve said it yourself, “heaven is a perfect place, there’s no room for error. “
“I must agree with you on this one Nadege. And I applaud you for your wise reasoning. Your job at the law firm paid off hen?”
“No, Lord. I have to give credit to the semester of law research for my paralegal studies.”
“But, my Father’s goodness!”
“What wrong Lord?”
“Your mouth Nadege, your smart mouth! It’s been your problem since your early childhood.”
“Lord, don’t get me started, ok. You were not any better as a child. Do you recalled when your parents spent days looking for you; and when Mary finally found you inside the temple. How did you answer her? “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” And, that’s the least. You also have a temper,, which I certainly don’t have. For example, do you remember that day when you yelled to your foes outside the temple: “Is it not written, “My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations”? But you made it a den of robbers.” So, you see Lord, sometimes the weight is left in our hands to set matters straight, even if our rebuke may end up offending others.“
“But Nadege, have you not heard “A wise man is slow to speak?”
“Lord, have you not heard: “A wise man is also slow to anger?”
Immediately, we were both transferred to a golden hallway, walking toward a breathtaking gigantic building. As we made our entrance inside the court house, all I could say was “WOW!” The architecture was so beautiful, I realized the courthouse here on earth was nothing, compared to the one in heaven. Although, I was surprised when I saw the judges appeared in human forms. I was told they were actual judges in their past lives. They were chosen to fill the judicial realm in heaven, based on their level of excellence in their past job performance on earth. But, the bench where they sat were so high, they needed magnifying glasses to see me on the ground. I, on the other hands, could not look straight at them. They were so bright, I had to request for a pair of sun glasses. But, within a few seconds, an errand angel was sent down to earth, to carry back my sun glasses, which I had left on the ground, next to Jacob’ s latter. Out of curiosity, I asked one of the electric pole nearest to me: “Why should the angel had to travel all the way back to earth, to pick up my sunglasses, instead of just creating one?” As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, bolts of electricity, like lightning started flying inside the court house. So I took off running like a peregrine falcon. Not even the Lord was able to keep up with me.
“Come back here!” The Lord yelled.
“-That’s OK –KKKKKKK – I PLEAD IN-SA-NI-TY!!!”
While running and praying I could find Jacob’s latter, so I can rush back to earth. When I finally did, after one step down, there the angel of confrontation grabbed me from my back.
“Let me go, you con angel!” I screamed.
“No smart mouth. You must first show me a court release.”
“What court release – Are you crazy? Do you know what it’s like to stand in judgment before those light poles?”
“And, do you know what happens to those who plead insanity, while they are not?” Immediately, he flew with me, and dropped me in front of the Lord. Thankfully, he was seating on His throne, not still in the courthouse.”
“Before you leave heaven,” He said. “ I wanted to reassure you set matters straight with all the angels you’ve offended. Wasn’t the purpose of your visit?”
“Lord, how many angels I have to face again?”
“Well! Since your insanity plea was not valid, you still have 19,000 plus to go.”
“WHAT?” I heard like a thunder.
“Lord, who was that?”
“Well, that – that was my – my Father!”
‘COME HERE NADEGE!”
“Oops, Oh boy! Am I in trouble!!!”
To be continued
After the Lord and I watched my encounter with the delivery angel, I could tell, He was not pleased. So I thought, at last, someone understood the atrocity I suffered from my mother, because of that cruel note thet angel left folded in my tiny little hands.
“Today, we will address two of your complaints before the judicial panel. We’ve reviewed one already, so now, let’s go over the incident with the beauty angel. How old were you then?”
While I made myself comfortable on the beautiful Louis Second golden chair, which was included in my suite, I answered him:
“It happened about a year prior to my mother’s departure to New York so I was probably five years old. “
“Why did you called the Angel of beauty and grace “Ugly old fool then?”
“Lord, when she first appeared, she did not look beautiful and graceful. Let me tell you what really happened.”
“My mom had the habit of dressing me up first before we go anywhere. Then she would tell me to” sit down, and “don’t move, till I’m ready.” Are you kidding me? I always had a short attention spend because I would change school so often that I could no longer keep up with their names. Also, before I could blink my eyes, I was already in a new house, with new faces. Honestly Lord, I had so many mothers, and aunties by the age of six, that I had run out of numbers to keep count with them. So of course, when she told me to “sit still,”the moment she walked away, I got up. Since I was into colors, and makeup I went straight to her bedroom. What did I see there? A red bottle of nail polish on her dresser. And, the instant I grabbed it, there Iappeared an old and ugly woman who said:
“I would not touch that, if I were you!”
My answer:: “Of course you would not, because you are an ugly old fool! With the way you look, you should be wearing not only nail polish, but all the makeup, as quickly as you can touch them!”
As she transformed into a beautiful graceful angel, she said: “Oh! Is that so? Now, let’s see who’s going to be a fool and ugly, after her mother gives her the whooping of her life, for ruining her new, and beautiful yellow dress, with the red nail polish she just dropped on her dress!”
“Of course I was speechless. And while I continued to stare at her, the open bottle of RED polish was spilling all over my dress.”
Meanwhile, my mother was back from the bathroom, and standing by the door, when she said “What are you doing here?”
But, I honestly did not hear her. I was too busy screaming at the angel “Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa! You see what you made me do? You UGLY lady!” You know the end of the story. My mom thought I was talking to her. Then, I wish I could plead double jeopardy, but it was not possible. Since she had yet to punish me for moving around.
As you probably know, the Haïtian parents sing the title of the whooping, while they whoop your butt; and every word count for one belt. So the song tittle was: “Disobedient” and it went something like that:
“Now- look- what-you-did- to –the-new-dress?
The Refrain:” I – told- you- not – to – move!
I – told- you-not-to-move!”
Désobéissante –que – vous-êtes!”(Meaning: “You are disobedient”)”
Other children would normally know better, and don’t answer back while they get a whooping. But, as you may figure by now, I was unusual. So my answer was:
Plus-Am-a-future-artist, I HAD TO PAINT!
I was not talking to you, but to the Old ugly Angel,
Who turned BEAUTIFUL!
So my mother ‘s reponse with the belt:
“I -will -each –you- to- stop- talking –
To- ugly angel- who turned- BEAUTIFUL!”
To be continued.
“I will take the fifth on this one!“
“Lord, may I remind you, this amendment pertains to human, and you are a spirit, it does not apply to you.”
“No dear – the Fifth amendment states “No person” not human. Besides, I’m also “The son of Men.” So I rest my case.”
““So if you take the Fifth, you are confirming the delivery angel was following your order. OMG! After all the hell I gave her.” “Yes, you did. Let’s review your conversation on the screen, perhaps it’s time you read it for yourself. Although, I can’t seem to figure out how a new soul managed to remember so many striking words”
“No Lord, you are mistaken. I have an old soul.been told that quite often – my soul must have been recycled.”
“So, you were a trouble maker in your previous life then?”
“I must have been! You sent me back to earth, didn’t you?”
“I have to check another volume for this one – I just found your delivery conversation – look up – at the invisible screen.”
An unusual Soul# 05060261…………………………………………………..transition to earth
Baby Soul(B.S) screaming: “Hey giant – you shaking me too hard – I was just born, remember?”
Delivery Angel (D.A): “You wish – you old wizard!”
B.S.: “HEY FAT GIANT – don’t call me a wizard! – Where –R-you taking me anyway? I feel hot – Are you taking me to an Island? No – You–R-going the wrong direction. I heard France – Not Haïti!
D.A.: “In your dream! Here we go……..where is the place again?”
B.S.: “I said this is the wrong way! I don’t see no pregnant woman down there – There, I see one, but she’s holding a cup of ABORTION tea in her hand. Are you crazy? Help! Help! Cross her out – cross her out! Ok, drop me on the lap of the beautiful one with long hair. The one smiling, sitting next the old lady. She must be my Godmother.”
D.A.: ‘Yes the beautiful woman smiling is your Godmother. However, my order was to deliver you to the woman with the cup of tea. Who knows? Maybe the residue of alllll the tea she drunk to get rid of you, should be sufficient to wash some of the venom from your tongue!”
B.S.: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Take me back, take me back! OMG! She dropped me to her – she’s not smiling – not smiling! You giant angel, don’t you ever come back here again!!!
D.A.: “Oh sweet little baby, I’m just doing my job. To make it up to you, here this little note, I’ve written to you. I know you can’t read yet. But, hold on to it, till you can read. This is my birthday gift to you. Good Bye!”
D.A. Flew away – Hello – “Mission accomplish – The coast is clear… I mean heaven, not Haiti. LOL
”Fade out – Fade out – End of delivery recording for Unusual baby: 05060261…………………..
Transition back to heaven
The Lord sat quietly watching the blank white screen. Then He said: “Do you recall what was written on the paper the Delivery angel wrapped in your tiny hand?”
“Lord” I answered. “I was born with a smart mouth, not with a genius brain ok. So I still could not read. It was only after my mom Got so tired of me screaming my heart out, she took me from my Godmother. As she was placing me in the crib, she saw the little paper folded in my right hand. When she gave it to my older brother to read, this is what it said:
“You thought you could get rid of me with your death tea? Here I am to make your life a living hell!” “Then my mother placing both hands on her hip, looked straight at me laying in the crib, and said:
“Oh yeah! So you think you can make my life a living hell? We shall see honey. WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!”
To be continued