Month: November 2015
The Story Of The Wings
The old woman lived in the countryside; about an hour drive away from the Capital of Haïti. She owned acres of land, filled with banana plantations. Her large yard, there also lived her children, and grand-children. From a distance, one can hear their laughter, while they played near the crystal clear water spring, situated in their backyard.
Sunday Dinner, was a family affair. That’s when the old lady would yell, “Zèllette!”
“Yes Grann!” (Grann, meaning Grandma).
“Kill four of the brown and yellow feather chickens to cook, then bring the pot inside the house. But, if even one neck is missing, you will be in trouble with me; hear? “Auntie is coming with the rice and beans, Elizé with the goat, and Jonas will catch the fish.”
Zèllette answered, “Oui Grann. (Oui, meaning yes).
The sixteen year old young lady, after she had killed the chickens, plugged off their feathers…
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The Story Of The Wings
The old woman lived in the countryside; about an hour drive away from the Capital of Haïti. She owned acres of land, filled with banana plantations. Her large yard, there also lived her children, and grand-children. From a distance, one can hear their laughter, while they played near the crystal clear water spring, situated in their backyard.
Sunday Dinner, was a family affair. That’s when the old lady would yell, “Zèllette!”
“Yes Grann!” (Grann, meaning Grandma).
“Kill four of the brown and yellow feather chickens to cook, then bring the pot inside the house. But, if even one neck is missing, you will be in trouble with me; hear? “Auntie is coming with the rice and beans, Elizé with the goat, and Jonas will catch the fish.”
Zèllette answered, “Oui Grann. (Oui, meaning yes).
The sixteen year old young lady, after she had killed the chickens, plugged off their feathers, removed their guts; afterward washed and seasoned them in some lime, herb and hot pepper, before she finally cooked them.
However, when it was time for dinner, Gando looked inside the large aluminum pot, to find out all the wings were missing. So Gando soon grabbed a wood stick, as she held both of Zèllette’s hands, she asked her “Didn’t I tell you not to eat zilch from the?”
But, before Gando could finish her sentence, Zèllette yelled back, “Now Grann, may the thunder crushes me, the lightning strikes me, and may the good old Lord blot out my NAME from the living book, “I sure did exactly what you’ve asked of me!”
Gando who was still furious replied back, ‘If you lie to me hild, I’ll whoop your butt even more; so you better speak now or forever hold your peace!”
Zèllette answered back, “Now Grann, you never said anything about no wings. All I heard was, “if even one neck was missing.”
Gando recalling her instruction to her felt remorsed, dropped the wood stick on the floor. Then she said “I did mentioned the neck… But Zèllette, for God’s sake, you ate allll the wings, when you know how much I love them?”
Zèllette replied: “Well Grann, you named me after WINGS, so what did you expect?
Wing = Zèl in our creole language.
“Of course I named you after wing. “You were three and still dragging your butt on the ground, while refusing to walk. Yes, I changed your name to Wing (Zèllette) to inspire you to fly; the least so you would walk. “But, if you continue to eat my wings, I’ll change your name back to “Dirt Butt!”
The Torture of Before & And the Bliss of After
This is my younger daughter. Of course, she is going to pray my eternal damnation, when she finds out what I’ve done with her picture.
Picture #1: Do I look like I want to take a picture? I’m HUNGRY! And, the food is not even ready.
PICTURE #2: Now I can smile! But, hurry up Mom – I ate too much, Am about to fall asleep!
THE PREY AND THE PREDATOR
Ok. So it’s thanksgiving. Our family was invited to our aunt’s house. Great! I won’t have to slave this year, after spending hours shopping.
The extra-long line at the supermarket, while waiting for the ring-ring can be bothersome. So, I should be happy, right? My answer is NO.
Last night around 11:00 P.M. I thought, “What is Thanksgiving without leftovers?
So I got up and headed to the store. I wanted to bake just enough for us to nib on Friday, and possibly Saturday. But, to my surprise, the early birds had already cleared out the turkey reservoir. Yes, all the turkeys had flown away, and forgotten their breast behind.
Just them, I noticed a tall woman, covered from head to 
toes; as if she was living in Alaska, during a snow storm. I knew she was from Haiti; one of my compatriot.
She was robbing her hands together, while saying: “Houhouhouhouhou!” While she opened the boxes of sausages in front of her. That’s our landmark; which stands for: “We are freezing.”
Mind you, the store temperature was probably no lower than 70.
Exactly! Hope you see what I mean.
She was the prey, and I was the predator.
Who else in the whole Walmart store, would satisfy my thirst of humor on that crazy night? So, after I slowwwwly walked toward her, I addressed her in English to her.
Of course, I could have have spoken to her in our native language, which is Creole. But, what would be the fun in doing that? Come on – be smart!
“Cold?” I said to her.
“Oh yah – Yah! Feezing here – like thirtee degrease here!” She answered me, while robbing her hands together.
I feel your pain. I said. Immediately I turned my head toward the piles of chicken broth cans, which was on the opposite side of her. I didn’t want the poor woman to see me laughing.
“So, where are the turkeys this year?” I asked her while I touched my bald head.
She answered me: “ TheTork-Keys, their – there! Ovathere! Smallone – Smallone. Piti!” (Piti, which in creole meant small)
I responded, “No, they are turkey breast, I’m looking for.”
Then, she started walking, as one who had just joined the army, and was still rehearsing her book camp march. She pointed her finger. “See, Tork- keys here. “Oh! This chicken?”
I replied, “No. Those are turkey breast.” while pointed my finger on the word breast, so she can see what I meant.
She grabbed one of the package, to read it for herself. Then she said: “Oh! Tis is NOT tor-key! Oh! Tis is breast. “Ohoh! Tis is Tété! (Tété meaning breast in creole.) Ah! What is tis?”
Since I didn’t want to spoil our language venture, I continued my inquiry in English.
“You think they might still have some whole turkey in the back?”
“They should, this is Tinsvirgul!” (Trust me, this is not a Creole word. She meant to say “Thanksgiving.”
“You mean, “Thanksgiving!” I corrected her.
“Ah! Me! Can neveur –neveur say “Tinsvirgul.” (I can never, never say thankgiving).
Thank Gooodness, while we were talking, a younger staff member walked by her. She turned her head to call her.
“Hey! Marthe, we haf tork-key back there? Only Tété here; no tor-key.’
Marthe answered, “But, tété is turkey auntie!”
“No. It’s not tor-key. In our country, tor-key is leg, win, neck, bouda (butt) and backbouda.” “But auntie, those people sale the breast separate for the white folks, who don’t eat bones like us. They only eat that white meat. This is the most expensive part of the turkey, and, in the chicken as well. You guys use to be stupid for throwing them away back home. At school they said.” Then she turned to me to say “Well I’m in school during the day, but I work here at night.
“Fout! The older woman yelled. (Meaning “Damn it” in our language) “Stop telling people (people) your business. Go look for the tor-key, she waitin.”
Marthe immediately stops talking about her school project. Before she walks away, she asked me, “So, you want a whole turkey?”
“Yes. I prefer a whole one, preferably a medium .”
“Well! I think they only have the small ones back there anyway. Same as the breast over here.”
“Fout! I told you, go gettheTORKEY!” The older lady yelled at her again.
Marthe immediately started walking. From a distance, I heard her saying “Don’t know why Mamma didn’t’ leave you fry in Haïti! Don’t know why I offered you that damn job either!”
“You go buy other stuff and Koume bak. I ‘m here?” (Meaning: You can continue shopping, then come back. I ’ll be here.)
“Ok. Thanks.” I answered her with a smile.
When I came back, she handed me a turkey. About the same size as the large breast I had pointed to her earlier. While she was shaking her head, she said: “I tall (told) her a tor-key, she get me a chicken.”
“Well, that’s actually a turkey.” I answered her.
‘No. That a chicken. Tor-keys NOTSMALL.” I did not pursue the conversation. I figured, why force the donkey to drink water. I know those old folks form my country.
However, before I left, although I wanted to reveal to her of my Haitian root. But, after hearing a couple “FOUT” when she yelled at her niece; she reminded me of my mother. I didn’t want the water to start spilling.
So I walked away with the TOR-KEY, which according to her, was a CHICKEN.
When I wished her a Happy Thanksgiving.
She answered me “Ah fout Tinsvirgurl! Have to wak in this cool.”
She meant to say “Damn Thanksgiving – since I have to work in this cold!”
LOL
Three Day Quote Challenge – And I Firmly STAND!
I have been nominated for The Three Day Quote Challenge by Let faith be your strength . Truly an inspiring blog. Thank you Kevin!
Below is my chosen quote for DAY III
The Three Day Challenge – Day II
I have been nominated for The Three Day Quote Challenge by Let faith be your strength . Truly an inspiring blog. Thank you Kevin!
The rules are:
- Post Three consecutive days
- Pick one or three quotes
- Challenge three different bloggers.
My nominees are:
- The Lonely Author
- Garfield Hug
- Honestme363
Below are my chosen quotes for Day II.
But I would add to this one: Be wise when doing so. I’ve opened the door of my heart and my house to those in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they we ravening wolves.
“A cancer within is a tough one to tackle down.”
-Nadège Moïse
The three Day Quote Challenge
I have been nominated for The Three Day Quote Challenge by Let faith be your strength . Truly an inspiring blog. Thank you Kevin!
The rules are:
- Post Three consecutive days
- Pick one or three quotes
- Challenge three different bloggers.
My nominees are:
- The Lonely Author
- Garfield Hug
- Honestme363
Below are my chosen quotes for today.
OUR COMPANION AD
I had a craving for some falafel a couple days ago. Strange isn’t it? Being from the Caribbean, I didn’t grow up eating a dozen falafel whenever I felt like it.
Yes, you heard me right. I must have eaten a dozen of those little addictive, possibly once upon a time, Jesus’s favorite meal.
I was fasting till six that day. About five-ish, I started preparing the batter. By the time I realized I was eating them all along, it was after six. Strangely, I wasn’t just tasting them. The whole plate of falafel was completely empty. And, I had just enough batter left, to leave a few for the house.
I felt much better later on. That was after my niece had crushed a few down her throat herself, before she said: “Gosh Tatie, these things are addictive!”
“You telling me!” I answered her.
The following morning, my alarm went off at exactly 5:00 A.M. Are you kidding me Lord? I didn’t plan to walk this morning. But, when I attempted to go back to sleep, the falafels I had previously eaten on an empty stomach, were screaming, “PAY-BACK TIME!”
I was on the toilet for the longest. Tried to ask the Lord’s forgiveness, for eating his favorite meal, after a solemnly promised, “ I would abstain from food” that day.
Of course, He did not respond. My stomach sounded as if God was angry with the earth; while His growling with thunders and lightning can be heard. Drop of sweats were falling off my face like a river current. One would think I was a tree, once covered with snow, now melting down.
Yesterday morning, my sister cancelled on me. When I knocked at her door ready for action.
“Sis, time for our walk, it’s five.”
“Ahh-Mmm! I, I didn’t sleep aaalll night Sis. I can’t, I can’t walk this morning.”
She answered me with her pitiful voice. I felt so sorry for her. So I ended walking for the both of us. Was not an easy task either.
As I was walking I reasoned: “Is she kidding me? Whatever happened to her plead? “I have to lose this tummy fat, Sis!”
Ok. I will let you sleep this time. But, make no mistake about it. I will be like a fire melting an iron in your butt next time!”
Yes. I was a bit frustrated, because she was messing up my plan. Well! She doesn’t know about it yet. But, I have an agenda. Let’ say by the end of December, we should at least loose a few pounds. Because, I plan to post the following ad on the paper and the internet. Yes, all the local villages in England, France, Italy, Switzerland, pretty much worldwide should see my ad. In fact, even in the Middle East. But the Isis squads are out of the question.
So this is the ad:
“Two sisters int their early fifties wan-na-be young women, looking for two wan-na-be young men. We’re planning our retirement, therefore, will travel abroad, wine and dine. Make no mistake about it. We’re still plum and warm, for we’ve been on the reserve shelf for quite a while.
Warning: “We’re looking for long term relationship, which should not interfere with our lifetime friendship. We will probably drop dead on the same day. However, granted this does not happen, we want to reassure, the one left behind will not be lonely. Therefore the followings are the qualifications expected:
• God fearing.
• A good sense of humor.
• Enjoy reading, traveling.
• Lastly, your word of honor that you’ll not drop dead on us, before we take the trip ourselves.
Anyone interested, check out our major workout website.
The older/nurse/wiser sister is currently undergoing major repair in the tummy area. You can keep up with her daily progress chart at: https://www.wantalosethetummy.com
The younger sister/artist is doing a mind renewal workout. You can keep up with her daily progress on the following link: https://www.doireallywantostarthavingsexagain.com
Furthermore, you may call us at: 1-800-heaven can wait.
Or, 1-800-Won’t leave my sister behind without a male companion.
Thank you!
laughtermedicineforthesoul 