OUR COMPANION AD

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I had a craving for some falafel a couple days ago. Strange isn’t it? Being from the Caribbean, I didn’t grow up eating a dozen  falafel whenever I felt like it.
Yes, you heard me right. I must have eaten a dozen of those little addictive, possibly once upon a time, Jesus’s favorite meal.
I was fasting till six that day. About five-ish, I started preparing the batter. By the time I realized I was eating them all along, it was after six. Strangely, I wasn’t just tasting them. The whole plate of falafel was completely empty. And, I had just enough batter left, to leave a few for the house.
I felt much better later on. That was after my niece had crushed a few down her throat herself, before she said: “Gosh Tatie, these things are addictive!”
“You telling me!” I answered her.
The following morning, my alarm went off at exactly 5:00 A.M. Are you kidding me Lord? I didn’t plan to walk this morning. But, when I attempted to go back to sleep, the falafels I had previously eaten on an empty stomach, were screaming, “PAY-BACK TIME!”
I was on the toilet for the longest. Tried to ask the Lord’s forgiveness, for eating his favorite meal, after a solemnly promised, “ I would abstain from food” that day.
Of course, He did not respond. My stomach sounded as if God was angry with the earth; while His growling with thunders and lightning can be heard. Drop of sweats were falling off my face like a river current. One would think I was a tree, once covered with snow, now melting down.
Yesterday morning, my sister cancelled on me. When I knocked at her door ready for action.

“Sis, time for our walk, it’s five.”
“Ahh-Mmm! I, I didn’t sleep aaalll night Sis. I can’t, I can’t walk this morning.”

She answered me with her pitiful voice. I felt so sorry for her. So I ended walking for the both of us. Was not an easy task either.
As I was walking I reasoned: “Is she  kidding me? Whatever happened to her plead? “I have to lose this tummy fat, Sis!”
Ok. I will let you sleep this time. But, make no mistake about it. I will be like a fire melting an iron in your butt next time!”
Yes. I was a bit frustrated, because she was messing up my plan. Well! She doesn’t know about it yet. But, I have an agenda. Let’ say by the end of December, we should at least loose a few pounds. Because, I plan to post the following ad on the paper and the internet. Yes, all the local villages in England, France, Italy, Switzerland, pretty much worldwide should see my ad. In fact, even in the Middle East. But the Isis squads are out of the question.
So this is the ad:
“Two sisters int their early fifties wan-na-be young women, looking for two wan-na-be young men. We’re planning our retirement, therefore, will travel abroad, wine and dine. Make no mistake about it. We’re still plum and warm, for we’ve been on the reserve shelf for quite a while.

Warning: “We’re looking for long term relationship, which should not interfere with our lifetime friendship. We will probably drop dead on the same day. However, granted this does not happen, we want to reassure, the one left behind will not be lonely. Therefore the followings are the qualifications expected:
• God fearing.
• A good sense of humor.
• Enjoy reading, traveling.
• Lastly, your word of honor that you’ll not drop dead on us, before we take the trip ourselves.

Anyone interested, check out our major workout website.
The older/nurse/wiser sister is currently undergoing major repair in the tummy area. You can keep up with her daily progress chart at: https://www.wantalosethetummy.com

The younger sister/artist is doing a mind renewal workout. You can keep up with her daily progress on the following link: https://www.doireallywantostarthavingsexagain.com

Furthermore, you may call us at: 1-800-heaven can wait.
Or, 1-800-Won’t leave my sister behind without a male companion.

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Thank you!

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