The Art of Conversation – With the Hatian Zest

Posted on July 2, 2015 Updated on November 21, 2015

As you read this story, keep these words in mind.
Bourk = Book
Deux = The
Firfty too = Fifty two
Fothy –too = Forty two
Fow = Four
Frenk = French
Hourze= House
Ma Soeur = My sister
Pasteur = Pastor
Reard = Read
Somme = Psalm
Too = Two
Woolcome = Welcome
So I went to visit one of the Haitian Church a few days ago. At first, I was convinced I was in the wrong church, because the greeters were too friendly. But when the praise leader finally said:
“Woolcome – Woolcome to deux hourze of the Lord!” I thought, ‘Yes! I’m at the right place!”
During the worship service, with all the drum and the guitar playing, I felt obligated to contribute my share in the party. So I danced till I shed a few pounds.
After an hour of dance, it was time for the reading of the word. A beautiful young lady first read the scripture in creole. She did an exceptional job. Following her, was an older lady who wore a bright yellow dress, and a large purple hat. After she was done reading the “Frenk,” I meant the “French” scripture. This was my prayer to the Lord: ‘Lord, please die on the cross all over again, so that woman may be forgiven for murdering the French language.”
As you know, the Lord’s compassion is great. Since He knows what’s best for us all. He decided to impair my hearing. It was not until I saw the lips of the congregants moving as if they were saying “Amen” I realized I could not hear well.
Of course The Lord healed me right away. I had to first apologize. During my prayer I told Him “Lord, I really didn’t know the cotton balls were actually going to get stuck so deep in my ears – Please Help!”
Next it was the Pastor’s turn to suffer. “We will reard from the bourk of Somme.” (Meaning: We will read from the book of Psalm). He was kind enough to translate everything he was saying in French, then in Creole as well. I think I will go back to his church, just because he was not only competent but handsome as well. At last we all stood up for the reading of the Word. Meanwhile, three older members were still struggling to find the “Psalm 42.” One finally spoke so loud, that everyone heard:
“No. The Pasteur said: “Somme fothy too. A three, and a too.”
The second one answered: “No. He said Somme “firfty too, a six and a too.
The guy who stood next to them said: “No. It’s a fow, plus a one, and a one.”
The first voice finally tapped my shoulder to ask me: “My soeur, which Somme the pastor said?”
So I answered “He said “Psalm 42; Four and a two, or 40 plus 2.”
The guy whispered back: “Fow and a too equal six. Oh, now I got it. It’s somme 46!”
The other voice responded “No. She said fothy, too times, so that somme eigh and zero.”
The pastor was so tired of the turmoil, he intervened in creole.
“No, I -said – Psalm – forty two. So, first, you will see Psalm 40, Psalm 41, then Psalm 42; which is number four, then a number two next to it. Psalm “4-2.”
The three old folks finally answered all together: “You hear? We are going to read Somme 40, Somme 41, and Somme 42. THEN we are going to read Somme 4, then Somme 2.” Is that right Pasteur? “
The Pastor smiled and answered:

“Why not. One can never have enough of God’s word! So let us all stand together to read PSALM FORTY TWO. Then you guys can read the other psalms silently!”
I went back the following Sunday. That’s another story.