parents

Exocism Expert Needed!

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Old lady

No wonder Halloween is celebrated in October –  This is the Month when the witches show their true colors!!!

PARENTS, I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

Trust me on this one. I gave birth to four witches!!!

(Whispering)

Honestly, I strongly believe my third daughter must have been the ruler of hell during her past life.

And, I must have been her partner!!!

God’s sense of humor never cease to amaze me!

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Definition of Chill – Rain!

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Oh! So you’re really looking for the definition of “Chill – Rain?”

In my book, it stands for “CHIL-DREN!”

The word “Chill” in the dictionary means: A feeling of sudden fear, anxiety, or alarm. A depressing influence or sensation.

So when you have children, you are inviting a rainfall,an outburst of all of the above.  Trust me. I know what I’m talking about.

Now, I’m not saying not to have the little rascals. But, my advise to you: “Wait after you’ve enjoyed your life.”

Like my second daughter. She’s been all over the world and still traveling. In fact, she’s creating her own country, just so she can find the next spot to travel, since she’s been EVERYWHERE!

Or, you can do the alternative. Wait till you turn fifty to have  the brats. Why? So they’ll practically raise themselves.

Yap! It will be like a 50/50 investment. You boob would have already been ruined. Your chin dragging, you really don’t have nothing left to lose.

In  their late twenties, you know, when their horns are visible to the world, their smart mouth echoing before your face, you’ll at least have the satisfaction to say:

“What did you say your name was child; who are you?”

“Ma, it’s me!”

“Me who?”

“Your daughter, or your son!”

“Really! I had children? Now what do you know!” Hihihihi! (After they left)

Or, lets say they come to you and say “Mom, I’m so hungry!” After, you’ve just spent your last dime, and filled the fridge with all sort of goodies.

You can answer them “I just came from the doctor, my taste bud is completely null. Going forward, you going to have to cook honey!”

Then wait till they get out of your private space, which is your room. Stretch your body comfortably on your bed, grab your favorite book, and start reading with a satisfying smile on your face.(Don’t regret it either!!!)

And about when they go in your purse and take your favorite lipstick, or your closet, borrow your new pair of Italian shoes, which by the way, you will never see AGAIN! Why? Because, they don’t feel you deserve it!

Tell them: ” Oh dear,  I sure hope you don’t catch my infection, just came from the dentist!”

As for the shoes, let them believe your foot is so badly infected, they shouldn’t even sit on your bad!”

You see old age give us one advantage over this young so called smart generation, who think they can treat like crap, after we’ve sacrificed our lives for them. That is, “We can act as crazy as we wish!  If they are not worthy of our genuine kindness, and love toward them, don’t let them take any more advantage of us. If you have to, tell them “Your back, your jaw, your ear, your ass,  even breathing hurt.”

When they show you an expensive dress or pants they want you to buy, you should be suddenly blind.

“Hone, I wish I could see, bu I’m losing my sight. The doctor just told me.” Then pray for forgiveness!

When they ask you to remember something, you are no longer alert!

“Sweetie, you forget how old your mother is?” Then sight, pitifully! As if you truly regret not enabling them.

Yes, its time that we fight back! This generation has the capacity to be either “A mother’s curse, or a blessing!”

However, if indeed, they are a blessing, is there anything we wouldn’t do for them?

This has been my experience. My apology, if your children are exempt from this serenade!

As for me, in view of my past experience from the children I sacrificed so much for, had I not be strong, I could have dropped dead!

Therefore, while I will continue to pray for them, I will patiently wait for them to gain maturity. I know the day will come, since I taught them well. I trust the Word of God which promised me “Train a child the way they should grow, and when they get old, they will not depart from it.” If God is not a liar, my children will find their way back to wisdom, love, and respect, even the Godly success I’ve prayed for.Thankfully, they’ve all earned their Bachelor and Masters, with the exception of one, still struggling.

But meanwhile, if they ever disrespect me again, and think they play with my love:

Mom, can you do this for me? I will answer:

“I don’ t know you from jack, who the hell are you?” Will be my answer!

Hahahahahah!

Out of all men, I would be the most to be Pitied!

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first love

My father was known to be a character. I always admired him for his ability to reason, his sense of humor and realism. Unlike the jealous and unreasonable fathers, who lived in our neighborhood, when it came to matters pertaining to boys and girls, my father was not shy in understanding.  In fact, he had such a remarkable ease, all our friends were comfortable around him. Young and old were welcomed to our house after church, to enjoy his sense of humor, while we sat around the table for our Sunday soup.

“If a young man shows interest in you girls, you must invite him to your house, and introduce him to us. A young lady should never permit a young man to court her before he meets her parents; he may fail to show her due respect.”

Of course, my step mom thought differently. “Boys should not be welcomed till the girls are much older!”

“What are you talking about?” My father would answer her. “They are girls, and regardless, boys will flirt. I would rather they do it here!”

So I was fourteen when I received my first letter from an admirer. In fac,t I was home sick during that whole week, and honestly had no idea about the boyfriend and girlfriend world.  I thought people just grow old and got married. But somehow, this boy from my class had fallen in love with me. Till this day I try to recollect what gesture I might have done, to draw his attention. Apparently, when he did not see me at school, he decided to write me a letter, which he gave to my younger sister.

The letter was a declaration of his passionate love for me. Looking back, I think he must have been one of King Solomon offsprings because his letter pretty much had the same verbiage as the “Song of Solomon.” The love languages displayed in the letter were like a foreign language to me of course. I recalled my older sister reading it while laughing her heart out.  After the long love poem, he would ask me “If I could be his girlfriend?” Thank goodness I was wise enough to answer him: “Thank you for your letter, but I’m too young to have a boyfriend.”

Because my letter eventually fell off my sister’s notebook, so my Stepmother picks it up and asked her:

“What is this?

My younger sister said, “after I swallowed the cup of saliva swimming in mouth, I answered:

“What’s that?“

“I am asking you what is this?” And you are asking me, “What’s that?” I said “WHAT IS THIS?”

“It’s, it’s a letter to, to.” She swallowed another cup of saliva before she says, “To a boy!”

“Is that right! So we’re paying all that money to a private school, so you can learn how to write letters to boys, AT YOUR AGE?”

“This is not my letter Mom, it’s my sister’s letter.”

“Oh! So now you are a mailman who delivers letters to boys?”

Of course, my step Mom called me. But, any attempt to reason with her was of no use. Telling her  ” I did not encourage the boy to write me,” was like pouring a cup of water in the ocean. It did not matter to her. Her logic: “Boys had no business writing me, I had no business answering them, and my sister certainly had no business carrying the letter.  So she placed the letter on my father’s pillow for him to scorn us later.

Meanwhile, both of my sisters had diarrhea, and could not relax.  I was peacefully taking a nap.
My older sister feared that my father would claim, “She was the one setting the bad example since she was older.”

My younger sister on the other hands, feared my father would say, “She was too young to follow our footsteps.”

My thought exactly: “I did not ask God to make me beautiful, and I certainly did not encourage the boy to write the whole freaking chapter from “The Song of Solomon,” so I had no ground to worry.”

Finally, after my father called me: “What is this I hear you are writing letters to boys?”

“Papy  when you were a young man, and you wrote a letter to a young lady for the first time, did she encouraged you?”

“Papy answered “Absolutely not!”

“Exactly! So if I answered the boy, “ I’m too young to have a boyfriend! What did I do wrong?”

“Papy  shook his head, then said: “Well done! Go back to your room.”

My Stepmother was furious. After she fussed and fussed: “You are not going to discipline her? She’s encouraging boys to write to her. “The girls should not have any boys showing interest in them at this age, so you are spoiling them!”

My father smiled, then answered:    love pic

“I have four girls, for whom I’m spending my wealth to care for them, paying a chauffeur to drive them back and forth to a private school, so they can obtain  the best education; though Am thankful to God they are not looking like a Rottweiler dog;  if boys don’t start writing letters to them now, out of all men, I would be the most to be pitied!”