Life

Let’s Talk “Take & Parables.”

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rings

I heard you were taken by the first house you were shown. However, before you finalize the  move, let’s take a ride back down memory lane together. So one day, you too might take the time to share with your children, “how I took the time to take you, to where I’m about to take you.”

  • Remember, patience is a virtue. So, if you take the time to get on your knees, God will take the time off from His busy schedule to listen. Didn’t say He’ll take the time to answer you right away either, because He sure likes to take His sweet time in everything He does.
  • Cleanness is essential. So, take the time to clean the house. I mean really take the time to clean. Don’t just take the time to sweep and mop, I mean take the time to wash-wash-wash-even-scrape, if you have to!
  • Well, although you mind is already made up, I do hope you got yourself a good fish. Even if it’s not pristine quality, you should be able to enjoy it anyway. But, before you cook it, wash it toughly, then, dazzle a little mint all inside, then bathe it with some oil, preferably deep fry it. And, while you’re eating it, if you take your time to digest it well, you should harvest the fruit of your labor in less than a year.
  • However, I sure hope you didn’t buy some liver, gizzard, cow feet, or chicken legs, instead of the fish. If so, I’m warning you, the result will not be the same.
  • I also hope you got yourself a nice color too. Like yellow or white; wouldn’t mind a little light chocolate either. But, don’t waste your time carrying no damn charcoal to your house. You don’t need to look far to see we already have enough of that.
  • So after you take the time to do all of the above, you should close your bedroom door, and take the time to enjoy yourself all night. So next time I come to visit, as I just did your brother where I came from, when I take the time to look at my grandchildren, I won’t feel the urge to disown you too.
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Oh my God! I don’t want to die before I read the “Novel & Short Story Writer’s Market 2016!”

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I had such a horrible day yesterday, I seriously wanted to end my life. So I walked miles away near the beach to drawn myself. But after I tasted the first wave of salty water I reasoned: “There has to be a more glorious way to die.” I may wish to die, but I certainly don’t want to look like a swollen corpse for my viewing!

So I decided to relax my body on the sand while all along thinking on my next step. Maybe I should attempt to strangle myself? Then I imagined my tongue sticking out, with my eyes bulging out. Oops! That’s not a pretty site either!

Ok. About if I were to drink some household cleaning products? Between Clorox and ammonia, they should do the job! That was before I realized how strong their smell. Don’t you think so? Besides, they can’t possibly taste that great either! And to top it all, my corpse would become a toxic waste, and I certainly don’t want to contaminate the earth.  Hey! Mother earth does not deserve that, OK!

About if I ran in front of a large truck?  Then my remains would have to be scraped off the street. About if a chunk of my face were left behind? My children would probably be heartbroken, so it might be a waste of energy since they’ll be forced to identify me?

Lastly, I could have a Med-shake, from a mixture of Tylenol, Aspirin, and Nightquill. Then I thought, “About if I don’t really die? Then I would risk being rushed to the hospital, with a nurse ripping a tube down my nose, in order to drain the nasty mixture from my stomach. YOK! I don’t want to feel any pain before I die!

My mind was so exhausted, I needed to rest. So I thought, why not think about this tomorrow? Then it dawns on me:  “Why not address my maker?” He should be able to help me out, don’t you think? I’m told creation is His specialty, so He may even invent a whole new death trap for me.

“Ok God, I’m laying down here feeling drained and hopeless. You can either give me a brilliant idea how to end my life, or send the angels of death to pick me up. I know I really don’t need to tell You the reason why I want to end my life today because you are a nosy God anyway. so You already know the deal.”

A couple hours later, as if I wasn’t already having a horrible day, my daughter came home with the mindset to make me wish I was truly dead.

“You have not been talking Mom, and I want to know your plan?  “Mom, you have to talk to me, you’re not shutting up on me… “This is not good for you, you must express yourself! Blablabla!”

All along I could not stop asking God:  “Are you for real? This is the best death trap you can think of?”

I don’t know if you’ve heard, “He may not answers when you expect Him to, but “He’s always on time.” Just when I thought I would shut up, and let my daughter drain the last string of life from me. She repeated:

“No Mom. You are not shutting down on me!” What is going on?”  So I yelled:

“I FREAKING DON’T –WANT-TO – LIVE-ANYMORE, so leave me alone!”

“Really!” She answered. “So you think you are the only one who feels this way? Sometimes I wish I was dead myself!”

I was so shocked, I just starred at her. Then I thought:  “Is this child crazy? After I sacrificed my life, worked like a maniac to provide for her. She went to one of the best university; how could she possibly wish her death, when she’s only twenty-four?”  I better stay alive to make sure she’s kidding me!”

So, after a long walk, I went back to bed. Suddenly I remembered seeing a small parcel by the door. When I noted it was for me, I was thrilled. “Oh my God! I don’t want to die before I read the “Novel & Short Story Writer’s Market 2016!”

Writers 2016

The moral to this story? “Never give up! And when you think you have it bad, take a good look around you!”

Interesting Conversation – Part III – TIME

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time

“TIME is a good TIME – TIME is favor – TIME is appointed – Did someone Called?”

“No need to tell me who you are! You”

“Indeed-deed! I’m TIME. So tell me: “ Did DEATH disappeared when He heard my voice?”

“Yes he did. Why are you asking  – and why are you talking so fast?”

“Because I’m TIME, and I don’t have TIME to waste. “1 o’clock … 3 o’clock…7 o’clock … o’clock……..”

“Why on earth you keep on repeating the time?”

“This is my job dear – “Midnight  …  2 A.M… …In fact, I’m answering  to those who are asking for the TIME worldwide. “1:30… 3 o’clock ………. Yes, I SAID 3 A.M! “My goodness! I thought the invention of all the electronic devices would make my job much easier now, but nooo – The turtle travelers are still asking for the “TIME.” As you can see, my job is not easy dear.”

“OMG! Are you serious? You mean you are constantly hearing these voices of …”

“Yes, they’re crystal clear!”

“I would go insane!”

“I thought you were already! You are speaking to me, aren’t you?”

“What? I didn’t call you here. Remember I”
“Well, honestly speaking, I’m just doing my job dear. Besides, I’m the master of focus. I’m not one to budge nor waiver. I only travel within my perimeter, because on any given day, my journey must remain constant, and steadfast.

“But you do budge. Your needle d”

“I SAID: “I only travel within my perimeter!”

“You don’t have to yell at”

“Let me continue PLEASE! I don’t have TIME to waste. So, listen carefully: ” LIFE and I (TIME) are two Grand Masters, and we share equally the same power. Wherever LIFE is present, there I Am as well. Yes, we work together. Therefore, the couple by the name of Mr. Lazy,  and Ms. procrastination hate us with a passion. While DEATH oppose us, Goodness and favor are or treats;  Success applauds us.”

“Wow, that’s profound! But TIME, you are known to be a thief – even death said so. You failed to mention th.”

“Yes. So is the rumor. But the fact is, “I’m a giver – in fact, I’m an abundant giver. I always repay any lost, or stolen treats. Yes, whatever time one may have lost unfairly, I do repay them trough wisdom and memory.”

“How nice of you! Although, TIME does somehow fly away, and”

“MAY I BRING TO YOUR ATTENTION “Twenty-four hours, are still equal to one thousand, four hundred forty minute regardless, the season, year, or location. Am I correct?”

“Yes, but”

“I don’t work with” but” –  I have no patience for excuses, ignorance and laziness dear.”

“My God, you are so rude! And”

“Not rude. I’m rather focus and discipline. You guys are full of excuses. And to prove my point, consider the following: “A president and a bank robber, who were born at the same time, and died at the same age;; at exactly  eight o’clock in the morning, on the same day. Were they not granted equally the same life spend? “

“Yes, bu.”

“I said, “I don’t’ work with ‘but!!!” My conclusion to this brief prelude: “LIFE and TIME are granted to all. Wisdom is available to those who are willing to seek. While understanding is a virtue worth finding. Ignorance is not an excuse. DESTINY on the other hands, is a well-written map, with many loops and curves. Although it may be deferred, but rest assured, it will be revealed at an appointed TIME!  So my dear, befriend DESTINY!”

“Peekaboo!”

To be continued.

Interesting Conversation – Phase II

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I said Hell – Low!!!

“Believe me, I heard you the first time! But, did you realized you just said “Hell-Low” instead of Hello?”

Yeah! I’m the official marketing director for Hell. So I try to included Hell, in everything I  hell say. You know the hell I’m talking about? So hell, may lllllling-ger around, even after I get the hell away from you!”

“What a discussing thing to do? No wonder you look like death with your skeleton self!”

death angel

“The hell excuse me dear! I don’t look like death.  But I aaaam DEATH! “I have no flesh,  no guts, plus I’m deaf. Well! – Partially deaf.  I can only hear dialogs like we’re having. But when it comes to begging, weeping and sobbing, I can’t hear a thing.”

“Mmm! I wonder why?”

“The hell you’re slow! Do I have to spell it out to you? My job requires me to confirm “You- are –dead.  Mort. Mortuum. Muerto. Morto. Tot. Marbh!!! You get my point? Yes. So your family won’t have to burry you alive.  You know the scripture: “For dust you are and to dust you will return.”  Yap! This is my hellish job – But you guys sure hate me for that! The hell with you all!”

“Death, what do you expect from us – you are bad news!”

“The hell I am NOT! That highmighty, “cette prétencieuse” self righteous woman who summoned me here today, is the carrier of bad news. She’s the one who keeps up with time, to serve me with the Life termination notice. Read a sample below:

“Hey dark soul! Please see below.

 Death Termination Notice For:

Name … Address… Specific time…Soul level Light __________  Or Darkness _______”

P.S. “Don’t show up before your time.  I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE!”

 So you see, after LIFE takes herself out of the equation, I show up. My job is to test the flesh, and place my dead seal on it. And I’m done.  The spirit does it share, while the soul angel does his, way before I came in the picture. But I’m am called the bad guy!”

“I can see your point of view.  I noticed you tend to speak with a French accent, by any chance ar?”

“So you can herirt? Oh yers, yers! Although I’m nort Frenrch but I practiced the accenrt, so people will tendrr to pay atterntion to my voirce, and nort my face! Burt, if you “Ma Belle” don’t minerr, for nowr I wilr speark writ my nartive accenrt instead; since it hurt my tongre, and my bott when I speark writ a French Accenrt.”

 “Did you say “it hurt you tongue and your butt when “

 “The hell it does. But I only use it when I want to impress ladies.  I once tried it on LIFE, but she did not budge. I can’t stand her beautiful self-righteous hell self.”

 “Life, I would not budge either. You are not a handsome dude. Plus, from what she told me, she keeps company with the sun, the stars, oppor”

Yeah –yeah-yeah!  HEARD IT ALL! I work for the “Big Guy” too, you know. But you guys think Satan is my boss.  IT IS WRITTEN: “The Lord has made all for Himself. Yes, even the wicked for the day of doom.” HE”S a wise one, I tell you. Ok. I admit it. My company is more on the dark side. Spirits such as “Never enough, harassment, insanity, and every freak from the cemetery call me their friend.  Look at me? I’m doomed for darkness! LIFE, LIGHT, BEAUTY,  and not even WISDOM seek my company. I live in darkness, doomed for eternity; away from the Son, the merciful Lord.”

“DEATH, I’m assuming you’ve fallen from grace, was due to your past faulty actions. Perhaps, even too late to make amend. So I don’t really believe everything you saying, all I know you’re probably part of the lying spirits. And again, you still marketing for hell, instead of heaven, how so?”

“Oh well! Misery loves company! Hell! – I don’t live in hell – but I keep company with same like spirits. Haven’t you heard: “Tell me who your friends are, and I sure the hell will tell you who you are.” Yes, I have plenty of friends from there, and I intend to draw many more. It’s too late to make amends anyway. Was it Michelangelo who said: “If we have been pleased with life, we should not be displeased with death, since it comes from the hand of the same master?” So I have my reasons to believe, TIME is sure not going to give me another chance. TIME lost, is lost indeed. So one should be mindful to use it wisely  while still living. For the memory of the dead are forgotten. So my advice to you “Ma Belle,” practice doing good, not evil. Yap, it’s too late for me! But, I tell you, TIME IS A THIEF!”

“TIME is a blessing – TIME is favor – TIME is a good TIMe – TIME is appointed – Did someone Called TIME?”

To be continued.

Interesting Conversation – Phase I

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Sunrise

You think life would feel content with me just waking up this morning? Of course Not! I don’t know why you are called life when you are squeezing the life out of me! You should be called  ‘death, and not life!”

-“I’m freaking tired, of you freaking wrongly accusing me, whenever you are freaking having a bad day!”

“Wow! LIFE, You must be having a bad day too!”

“What do you think?  Let’s exchange post for just an hour! I bet, you wouldn’t last one minute!”

“Oh please, you are “LIFE” for God’s sake, how bad could it be?“

“HOW BAD? Are you serious?”

“Jesus! You sound like you are having your menstruation…just like a woman!”

“This is an everyday thing for me Nadege. Remember, I’m LIFE. Blood has to pump out of me EVERY SINGLE DAY! And you people don’t make it any easier either. I’ve been called every name in the book, and I’m TI-RED of it!”

“So,  are you confirming being a female? I’ve often wondered about that!”

“Thou! You think God would give this tremendous responsibility to a male? No dear. WE, the female, carry all the load, although the male are viewed as the strong one. Yes, we carry the babies, (male and female) breast- feed them, clean the house, cook dinner, and don’t’ forget both jobs, in the bedroom and the office.  While most of the male – will wear a suit, a tie, carry a briefcase, have a meeting; then come home to say: “Hew – It’s been a long day honey!”

“You nailed it LIFE.  That’s the damn LIFE we have here on earth!”

“YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? Why do you have to blame ME? You guys not only called me the “B” word when I’m not even allowed to flirt with a man. Furthermore, I get the blame for every single thing that goes wrong in your life. Do you know how often you guys say: “That’s LIFE! –  LIFE is a B!” -I AM Fed UP!!!”

But, I thought you just claimed you were “LIFE? Why are you calling yourself “Fed UP?”

“No. I said, “I – Am-fed –up with you guys blaming me for everything wrong in YOUR LIFE!!!”

“Boy! You have it bad this month, hen? Is there a pill you can take for this anger you’re feeling – because my ears drums are about to burst from YOUR SCREAMING SO LOUD! Damn it! “Remember, I started with a bad day too  – Gosh!”

stars

“LISTEN to me you ungrateful species:  “ I dropped by to tell you: “I’m “LIFE.” I am paired with tremendous possibilities. I keep company with Inspiration and imagination for you guys sake.  I call opportunities to your door steps, and all you have to do is to cease the moment. Although, for my amusement, there are times when they come in disguise. Nevertheless, they are yours to explore.   Laughter, humor, pleasant memories, good health, and even gratitude, are all under my jurisdiction. Talents and self-exploration, are my special treats to you. My aura is nothing but light. Yes, I’m covered with the stars during the night, and the sun pave the way for me in the morning, yet not even darkness can blur me from your sight. So why do you guys persist on blaming me – calling my name whenever you are plagued with a challenge from darkness kemp?”

“Hell – Low! Did someone called my name?”

To be continued.