Friction – Humor- Angel-Short stories

HEANVEN QUAKE V

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The Lord listened carefully to my version of the story. After I was done, he shook his head in disbelief and said:  “I don’t see the need for you to dispute this case against you. The evidence is clear. You were being very disrespectful when you called her and “ugly old fool.”

“Lord, in my defense, I partially agree.”

“Partially?”

“Lord, didn’t you tell us to “speak the truth, and the truth shall set us free”? This is exactly what I did in her case. In fact, she was the one being deceptive when she appeared as an old ugly woman. I’ve been in heaven for three consecutive days, I’m yet to see an ugly angel. So apparently, the angel of beauty meant to trigger my sharp tongue, when she disguised herself. And if the court rules in her favor, the other angels may feel tempted to follow her malicious behavior.  And you’ve said it yourself, “heaven is a perfect place, there’s no room for error. “

“I must agree with you on this one Nadege. And I applaud you for your wise reasoning. Your job at the law firm paid off hen?”

“No, Lord. I have to give credit to the semester of law research for my paralegal studies.”

“But, my Father’s goodness!”

“What wrong Lord?”

“Your mouth Nadege, your smart mouth! It’s been your problem since your early childhood.”

“Lord, don’t get me started, ok.  You were not any better as a child. Do you recalled when your parents spent days looking for you; and when Mary finally found you inside the temple. How did you answer her? “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” And, that’s the least. You also have a temper,, which I certainly don’t have. For example, do you remember that day when you yelled to your foes outside the temple: “Is it not written, “My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations”? But you made it a den of robbers.”  So, you see Lord, sometimes the weight is left in our hands to set matters straight, even if our rebuke may end up offending others.“

“But Nadege, have you not heard “A wise man is slow to speak?”

“Lord, have you not heard: “A wise man is also slow to anger?”

lightning

Immediately, we were both transferred to a golden hallway, walking toward a breathtaking gigantic building. As we made our entrance inside the court house, all I could say was “WOW!” The architecture was so beautiful, I realized the courthouse here on earth was nothing, compared to the one in heaven.  Although, I was surprised when I saw the judges appeared in human forms. I was told they were actual judges in their past lives. They were chosen to fill the judicial realm in heaven, based on their level of excellence in their past job performance on earth. But, the bench where they sat were so high, they needed magnifying glasses to see me on the ground.  I, on the other hands, could not look straight at them. They were so bright, I had to request for a pair of sun glasses. But, within a few seconds, an errand angel was sent down to earth, to carry back my sun glasses, which I had left on the ground, next to Jacob’ s latter.  Out of curiosity, I asked one of the electric pole nearest to me: “Why should the angel had to travel all the way back to earth, to pick up my sunglasses, instead of just creating one?” As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, bolts of electricity, like lightning started flying inside the court house. So I took off running like a peregrine falcon. Not even the Lord was able to keep up with me.

“Come back here!” The Lord yelled.

“-That’s OK –KKKKKKK – I PLEAD IN-SA-NI-TY!!!”

While running and praying I could find Jacob’s latter, so I can rush back to earth. When I finally did, after one step down, there the angel of confrontation grabbed me from my back.

“Let me go, you con angel!” I screamed.

“No smart mouth. You must first show me a court release.”

“What court release – Are you crazy? Do you know what it’s like to stand in judgment before those light poles?”

“And, do you know what happens to those who plead insanity, while they are not?”  Immediately, he flew with me, and dropped me in front of the Lord. Thankfully, he was seating on His throne, not still in the courthouse.”

“Before you leave heaven,” He said. “ I wanted to reassure you set matters straight with all the angels you’ve offended. Wasn’t the purpose of your visit?”

“Lord, how many angels I have to face again?”

“Well! Since your insanity plea was not valid, you still have 19,000 plus to go.”

“WHAT?” I heard like a thunder.

“Lord, who was that?”

“Well, that – that was my – my Father!”

‘COME HERE NADEGE!”

“Oops, Oh boy! Am I in trouble!!!”

To be continued

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“Gan-Ma, I like you colorful!”

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“Grand-Ma, you don’t have to wear makeup. You look beautiful just the way you are.” That was my grand-daughter’s plead, as we were getting ready to go to our favorite craft store. Of course, my grand-son did not agree with her.

“An hen Gan-Ma,  “I like you colorful!”

 “Really. But what do you mean by colorful?” I asked him.

“You dow Gan-Ma, when you have liptik, pooder on your face.” And as he grabbed one of my hair bow, he continued: “ And when you put “this” on your hair, it makes you look so booootiful Gan-Ma! So Boooootiful!.

My grand-daughter answered, as if she was annoyed by his interest: “You are a boy, what do you know about make up? Anyway, you don’t say colorful, what you just mentioned is “Makeup, not colorful; “Which” YOU don’t know anything about.”

He screamed back: “Yes I do. Yes I do..” And, when I grow up, I’m going to marry a girl just like Gan-Ma!” Then, as he points his finger to my grey hair, he said “Gan-Ma, I want her to have white hair just like you too.”

-You mean, you want your wife to have grey hair as well?”

-An-han! Just like you. I wander her to have liptik, pooder, gayhair too.”

“Honey, she will be much too young to have grey hair. I have grey hair because I’m getting old.” I told him.

And my grand-daughter added: “Grand-Ma has grey hair because she had children too.”

My grandson then responded: Ok Gan-Ma. I will marry the old girl, and I’m going to tave a lot of children too. Bcauz I want her to have gay hair too.”

Then I answered him: “No, she does not need to be old my love. With the children, the grey hair should start popping out, just like pop-corn cooking in the microwave. And chances are,  if the children are little angels just like you guys, she will become even more beautiful in her old age. However, if they eventually grow horns,  she will look like an old rag. So take it easy on the number of children.”

“Really Gan-ma?”

“Words of honor my love!”

 “Hihihihihih!” They both thought it was sooo funny.

“Life is full of surprise my love. Life is full of surprise!”