Family Feud

The Sin Of Self Righteousness

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self righteousness

My sister, niece, including one of my daughters, were all waiting for the arrival of my siblings, who are Jehovah Witnesses. As I wrote in my previous post, they were on their way to see our father. As for me, I was seating on the dining room table with my PC open on a blank page, waiting to capture this historic encounter for my humor blog.

But I must tell you, my daughter was still in denial. She refuses to believe my siblings would not speak to me because I previously renounced the Jehovah witness teachings after nearly four years studying with them.

“Mom, I know Tatie (auntie) and uncle would never stop talking to you because of that. So today if you talk to them, I’m sure they will answer you.”

“No Cassie, the perfectionist fake Christians think I’m the offspring of Satan, therefore they are forbidden to speak to me.“

self righ

The last conversation my brother and I had  after he was ordained to be an elder. He told me “contrary to the ordinary members, as an elder now, he had the authority to talk to me, only with the hope to rescue my soul.”

I answered him “If you think you have the right to judge me as a repulsive soul, the authority you think you have must be hidden inside your pants, preferably inside your shithole!”

“I’m an ordained Elder from the J.W. organization, so yes I have the authority!” He replied proudly.”

I was annoyed by his arrogance. “Oh yeah! Your authority came from men, and not of God, now Am I obliged to listen to you, so take a hike!”

After a brief silence, he said: “Well, apparently you are listening to all the other preachers. As you know, Satan is the God of this world, and all the other religions who are teaching heaven as their final destination are under his jurisdiction. So you just chose your own destruction.”

“Yes brother! And YOU the Jehovah Witnesses are the freaking lowest level souls, who know nothing about love or charity, compassion or forgiveness. You destroy family ties, even moral values and tradition through your false teachings. You aim to take from the world while giving nothing in return. It’s a good thing your hope being earthbound for eternity, so all of heaven SHIT will be falling on you guys! Great reason for us to add cabbage to our daily meal!”

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Church Folks! – Humor

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church

“Didn’t I tell you, will be worthwhile coming to church tonight – Guess who’s going to be there?”

“Who – Brother Bush?”

“Girl, you still have a crush on Brother Bush- I thought you were over him?”

“Over him? Where did you hear that from?”

“Oh! Speaking of the devil, here he comes with his daughter.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Brother Crook, the one walking with that beautiful young girl. Wow! She’s a young lady now!”

“Who’s child is she? Her mamma used to come to our Church?”

“No girl, that’s Mother Blunt’s grand-daughter, brother Crook is her son.”

“Praise the Lord Sisters!”

“Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord!”

“God is good Sisters, He’s been raising me up higher and higher!”

“He sure is Good Mother Hill, He’s good all the time!!!”

“Sure is! See you in Church Sisters.”

“Yes, what was I saying again? Oh Yes – Haven’t you heard the story about the two sisters?”

“Girl, have you forgotten? I only been here for six Months.

“Brother Crook was sleeping with two sisters at the same time, girl. – With his bad luck ass, both of them got pregnant about the same time  – OMG! It was the war from hell!”

“Are you serious? What Pastor had to say about that?”

“Girl, they were not church folks; back then, not even brother Crook was saved yet. Honestly, till this day I still wonder if he’s truly saved. Haven’t you noticed he only shows up here every blue moon? You think someone with his past history would be the first one waiting for the church door to be opened”

“But Sister, which one of the sisters he married?”

“Married? Honey he married another woman instead. For all I know, he’s probably cheating on her too! From what I heard, the older sister between the two, was a bitch, so she had an abortion.”

“Lord, have mercy! So the younger sister kept the baby.”

“Yap, that’s her daughter walking toward us, looks just like her Mamma. But she’s been raised by the older sister, who is her aunt, but she calls her Mom!”

“I don’t understand!”

“What don’t you understand? I heard the older one, had her younger sister killed, and stole her baby. Till this day brother Crook think the surviving child is the older sister’s daughter, when in fact, the girl’s mamma been dead.”

“Oh-My-God-! Are you for real?   Oh Lorrr-D! Here comes Brother Bush!”

“You with your “Brother Bush!” Wow! He’s a Bush all right, with all that beard hanging all over his – “Praise the Lord Brother Bush!”

“Praise – The – Lord! Sisters. Now don’t you ladies look gorgeous tonight?”

“Thank you Brother Bush, LOL You’re here to see the Prophet too? LOLl”

“Wouldn’t miss her for the world, I hear she’s a powerful woman of God!”

“She’s powerful all right – “The chuck load is about to spill over, and all the dirt will be exposed tonight!”

“Is she really that good?”

“Child, that woman will shake off the broom, and leave the dirt for us to sweep ourselves, then mop the floor clean!”

“Praise- the- Lord! In this case I need a good sit, although they all probably taken by now. See you later Sisters!”

“Lol, Nice seeing you Brother Buuush! Lol”

“Woman, stop blushing over the brother, all we know he’s probably gay!”

“Gay? Don’t say that about my future husb.”

“Here they come now! Praise the Lord Brother Crook and Mother Blunt! – Who this beautiful young lady might be?”

“Praise the Lord “Sister Noisy and Sister In –Trai-ning! “Church about to start, we need a great sit, will talk another day!”

“That Mother Blunt sure is something! “Goodness – Sometimes I wonder if she’s really saved too!”