I saw an angel today. He was pissing in my back yard. And, since I was in a mighty good mood, I just asked him;
“Hey! What your do-yin?”
“Non’ of your business!”
He pissed me off.
So I replied,
“Look ATOLLA JELLYFISH, don’t you dare get smart with me, OK!”
“And, you VAMPIRE SQUID, you better buzz off!!!”
I don’t know what was wrong with him?
“Perhaps a bad day?” I asked him.
He just stood there staring at me.
I found myself so angry at him that, I plucked off some of his feathers. But, I soon lived to regret it.
He grabbed my hands, and swung my body above his head, like a weightless dry leave.
Drowning’ down the lake behind him, I started screamin’
Then, he smoothly turned around and smiled. Effortlessly, he rescued me at the blink of an eye.
So I said,
“Now that I see you close, you sure are lookin’ good!”
“Of course! I just saved your butt, so now you’re flattering ME!”
“Oh please! You wingless giant; weren’t you just doin’ your JOB!!!”
He immediately turned himself into A FIRE BUSH, and scared the hell out of me.
Furthermore, he grabbed me by my legs this time as he was ready to use me like a tennis ball.
That’s when I yelled,
“Ahh-AHH! “Ok! I take it back!”
When he dropped me back, I bounced like a ping pong ball. Trust me.
Then he answered me in creole,
“Ou ti madichon, m’pral palé papa’w pou ou!”
“Hold on! ” I yelled. “You do speak English, don’t you?”
“And?” He replied with an attitude.
“You little curse child, Gon-na tell your Pap on you!”
So I chucked. I wasn’t scared of HIM!
And, while I nod my head, with my hands on my hips;
“Well, you sure ain’t the first, and certainly will not be the last!”
The feather giant got so angry, that after he glued my lips, He left me hanging on a tree.
So, I mmmmed,
“MmMmMm! MmMmMm! MmMmMm!”
He answered in creole,
“Ou ti madichon, map kité bouda’w pandyé!!!”
“You little curse child, I’m leaving your butt hanging!”
This time , he really meant it.
So, finally, when I realized I was doomed, I begin to stump on the tree branches, till I fell down directly on his head.
To my surprise, my lips were instantly unglued. So I immediately grabbed a hold of his neck, start choking the life out of him.
While I yelled,
“Bless me before you go! Bless me before you go! Just like you did to Jacob!”
When he tried to grab a hold of my hip, I rolled over his back and start plucking off his feathers.
Then I yelled again,
“Bless me like you did Jacob! Bless me before you go”
He was so annoyed, of course! But, did I care?
“Of course not!”
So before he flew away he finally answered me in creole again.
“Sou tè sa ou pral viv pasé santèn; nou pa bezwen ti madichon nan syèl la!!!”
“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” I yelled while leaping for joy.
Then, I stopped.
“Hold on! What did he saiy?
“On this earth, you live to be over a hundred years old. Because heaven is reluctant to welcome the curse ones!”
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