Today was so beautiful, I couldn’t stop singing. Yes, the hills were alive with the sound of music. But, not for long though. Mother Nature and her children claimed that my voice was a high degree hazard threatening their safety, so one of them triggered nature’s smoke alarm.
Yes, I suffered a third-degree sunburn all over my body. And, a snake almost bit my tongue off.
I was furious. “Are you guys for real?” I yelled. “Here I am singing my heart out to you guys and.”
“Are you guys for real?” I yelled. “Here I am singing my heart out to you guys and.”
But, before I could finish my sentence, I heard.
“First off, “We are Ladies, not “Guys.”
So I answered, “And, you ladies have your monthly visitor or something?”
“NO! Its just that, only Maria is welcome upon these hills.” They answered back.
So, later on, when I went back wearing Maria’s original dress. I even wore the same striped apron. And, since my hair was already shaved, I was looking just like a black version of Maria.
YES, IT WAS THE SAME DRESS!!!
In fact, the thrift shop owner where I actually purchased the dress from was originally from Austria. Seriously, she looked just like a typical Austrian woman. Yes, she was a dark skin African/American woman, with thick coarse hair, dressed like a Gipsy.
Well! What did you expect? For God’s sake, this is America.
And, for all of you doubters, that’s all I will say about that.
Gosh! Do I always have to explain myself?
Anyway, let me get back to my story: So when I went back to the hills. (Yes, I was singing and dancing, just like Maria.) Till shortly after, I heard,
“Hey, you jalapeno drum beat, this is California, not Florida!”
“How dare?” I thought to myself.
That’s before I answered then back “You dry sands; no wonder EARTHQUAKE is your middle name.”
“Exactly!” Another voice yelled. “And, with your chubby self stumping here, you’re certainly not doing us a favor either!”
“Gosh!” I screamed. “Here I’m dressed like Maria, dancing and singing my heart out, and you guys are still kicking me out of here.”
That’s when they all yelled back.
“Who told you to come audition here? THIS IS NOT HOLLYWOOD!!!”
So I yelled back: “What were you all expecting me to do here? I’m from the Von Trapp family, so, of course I’m trapped here!”