This is my way to exhale my anger, the rage I’m feeling for losing my brother. Yes, I’m screaming with frustration.
I’m still in LA, meeting with old friends and family members we haven’t seen for a while. They all remember my brother as the teaser, the kind-hearted gentlemen he was.
By now, I honestly thought I would feel better. But I was wrong. I’m still angry at the whole world. Furthermore, I’m angry at life. And, I’m whispering to you guys that “I’M ALSO ANGRY AT GOD,” for calling my brother home so young.
Yes, I’m screaming from the top of my lungs with frustration; while I’m still trying to swallow my lost.
I know “God” can still hear me. Good for HIM. Perhaps, next time He’ll remember my wrath before He calls me or any member of my family home.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yes. That’s right God! I’m interrupting the angels’ praises to you. I hope my screaming will annoy you, so much so, you won’t be able to rest either.
Why God? WHY MY BROTHER PATRICK? I know you have all the answers. So please tell me.
I won’t’ dare ask YOU: “Why not me instead?” Because you know I would be lying.
A couple weeks ago, I thought I was ready to make my silent exit from this world, but losing my brother made me realize the precious gift of life You’ve honored us; and hopefully, I will meet my deadline before my unexpected final goodbye.
Yes, this is my conversation with the Creator. I’m still waiting for His answer. I will let you know if He answers me back. Chances are, He won’t. And if He does, it will be” I’m God, I do as I please.”
My answer to Him: “Wait until I get up there. You’ll will sentence me back to a trillion life back on earth. I guarantee you that much. But, just remember I don’t want to come back as a Haitian!”
So, while I wait on “His” answer, I thought I would travel down memory lane, revisiting our childhood events for therapeutic purpose.
Below are a few pictures, precious moments we spent together. And, yes, they are actually us. As you can see, since my older brothers were already in the U.S., my brother Patrick was the only boy in the midst, so he drove us crazy.
Sunday morning, drinking our traditional soup after Church. My Step Mother was wearing her pink pants suits, while standing behind my brother like the general in command.
Yes, I had to erase the two girls standing behind me. My sister said they were the maids daughter. Trust me, you wouldn’t want to see what they really looked like. Let’s just say, I have a strong feeling, God ran out of beauty powder when He was creating them. Although, they were still my little friends, and I guess I must have been very nice to them since they both chose to stand next to me.
My younger sister’s first communion. Yes, I chopped off our legs because they were too sexy. You see my gorgeous older sister in yellow? She was the only one posing as if were in an audition for a movie. My younger sister and I were too young to understand the importance of holding our breath while we posed for the picture. Not only that, our legs looked like two chopped off giant trees.
Yes, we were wearing our shower caps, swimming caps were scarce. What do you expect? We were still living in Haïti. Can’t’ you tell with the blinding sun shining over our face.
My father is the handsome man in the middle. Very typical of him to plan our weekends and vacation ahead of time.
It was a perfect picture, but now, my brother is forever gone.
Yes, one major piece of our family puzzle is missing. But, his kindness and sense humor will never be forgotten; as his memory will forever remain engraved in our heart and mind.
Farewell, my dear brother Patrick Moïse. We love you and will remain truly blessed to have had you as our brother!