Month: January 2016
THE THREE FORBIDDEN WORDS
Two gorgeous young girls, being raised in a Christian household; the mother teaching them the wisdom of the day told them:
“You girls should never call each other “stupid or dumb,” or tell each other to “shut up.” In fact you should not use these words, even among your friends. Remember, “As a man thinks in his heart so is he.”
The seven year old girl interrupted , “But Mommy, we’re not a man, we’re little girls.”
“I know…. I’m speaking in general.”
The younger sister who was six answered, “You tupid! Don’t t’you under-tand what Mommy is trying to tay?” (She was T-tongued with a smart mouth)
The mother angrily replied, “Hey! Didn’t I just tell you girls, it was impolite to use these words?”
She quickly replied back, “But, Mommy, I didn’t say it from my heart… it just, it just, pup out from my t’lips. You see, like tis.” Sara did a gesture with her hand to show her mother what she was trying to convey.
The mother sympathized with her, continued: “Whatever you utter from your lips, comes from your heart. Therefore you must.” But, before the mother could finish her speech she heard.
“Oh la-la!” The mother angrily yelled.”
The seven year old spurred, “But Mommy, I – said – Dumbo, that’s not a bad word. Dumbo is a nice way to call my sister stupid!”
After the mother took a deep breath, she continued to reason with the girls: “YOU SHOULD NEVER CALL YOUR SISTER OR ANYONE ELSE STUPID OR DUMBO. DO-YOU-HEAR-ME?”
Both little girls innocently answered, “Yes Mommy.”
Finally, the mother walked away relieved, hoping the two girls digested the words of wisdom for that day. But to her surprise, the same afternoon, while she was on the phone, she heard:
“Woo, Mommy, Sara said the bad word!”
“What bad word?” The Mother yelled back.
“She said “stupid” Mommy.”
“Sara, come here right now!”
When Sara finally dragged herself to the kitchen, before her mother could utter a word, she said.
“Mommy, I, I wasn’t talting to my tister, I, I was talting to the tdevil!”
Yes, my brilliant six year older daughter, looked at me straight in my eyes to tell me “She was not talking to her sister, but she was talking to the devil.”
Imagine this? I could hear my girlfriend laughing historically from the phone, while all along she was warning me, “You better don’t touch that child; she’s too brilliant.”
Finally, with an expressionless mode glued on my face, I managed to order her to, “Go to your room in time out, till I figure out what to do with you!”
But the honest truth was, I didn’t want her to see my burst in laughter; I agreed, the girl truly deserved an academy award.
After my phone conversation, when I walked in her room, she was fearfully facing the wall. By then her older sister who was very protective of her was pleading on her behalf.
“Mommy, I don’t, I don’t think she’ll say it again.”
I took her plead as a leeway to escape from my harsh sentence. But the fact was, I still couldn’t keep my lips glued long enough, to deliberate my verdict in a firm tone. So I finally drizzled:
“Stupid is forbidden in this house, even when you’re talking to the devil. And next time.”
“Yes Mommy, BUT.”
“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY BUT Sara!!!”
In spite of my growling, I realized she still wanted to reply. So I gave her permission.
“But Mommy, I, I first told her to shut up!”
The girl he’ll marry better know how to bogie down!
By now, he’s probably looking for a wife, at Bolshoi Ballet of Moscow!
And this is in honor of their wedding ceremony!
So when I went back for confession with Father Gullible, I noticed he had lost a few pounds.
“Wow Father Gullible, have you been on a diet?” I asked him ironically.
He smiled before he answered me; “My bowel movements have been quite unusual since New Year’s Eve.”
“That’s strange! According to the recipes, you should have been fine by the second day.”
“Dear child, did you have anything to do with … I mean, for a moment I thought you were probably responsible.”
“Of course I was! They’re my laxative cookies… Now you all should be brand new for the New Year. Remember, I told you to “drink lots of water” before I left.
Father Gullible was so shocked, he sort of just… shuts down. With his face slacks, the color drained from it, he continued to stare wide-eyed at me, while his mouth slightly remained open. He kinda just froze up. I had to call him numerous times: “Father, Father, FATHER!”
He finally answered, “I, I’m here dear… child.”
“Thank God! … Father, I hope you understand it was for your own good. I bet you haven’t had a laxative for quite a while now.”
“You’re right. I can’t recalled the last time I had one.”
“You see what I mean? But Father … you’re still having diarrhea?”
“Well… yes. Although I did stop eating your… cookies… I’ve been munching on some butter cookies, which came from another parishioner. The box was so beautiful, I just had to …. In fact, I just had one this morning.”
“You talking about the ones from the green box?”
“Yeah! They are called “Brand New cookies.”
“Exactly! They make you brand New. They were from my mother. In fact, we baked them together!”
“Father, if I were you, I would stop eating those cookies. The Lord is a Man, remember?”
After a few sign of the cross over my head, as if he was performing a silent exorcism, father Gullible finally said.
“Are you telling me, you and your mother sent seven boxes of.”
“Yes, Father. We sent them to the whole convent. .. But, rumors has it all the grocery stores ran out of toilet paper, so I thought it was time to send you guys some lemonade.”
“Hey Father! Temperance is a virtue; you taught me that; remember? Besides, what’s a little constipation?”
I received this award from https: //ladameauxfleurs.wordpress.com/category/award/ I’m very thankful for not only the nomination, but for her patience as well. Please do visit her blog which I think is AMAZING!
1. Thank the person that nominated you and include a link to their blog.
2. Nominate at least 15 bloggers of your choice. When considering a fellow blogger for the Versatile Blogger Award, keep in mind the quality of their writing, the uniqueness of their subject matter and the level of love displayed on the virtual page.
3. Link your nominees and let them know about their nomination.
4. Share seven facts about yourself.
Seven facts about myself:
Awmmm! What should I say? I’ve been smashing my head against the wall; even squeezed my brain through a filter for these answers, but not zilch. So, I’m going to guess the answers.
1. I LOVE TO WRITE.
2. I love children; their honesty make me laugh.
3. I’m genuine, don’t really know how to fake anything; don’t like anything petty or hypocritical…
4. I’m stylish – I love beautiful things – Fashion or home décor.
5. I’m very compassionate, but wickedness stirs me the wrong way.
6. I’m multi-talented, gradually discovering new talents
7. My children don’t really know me, they don’t even know about my blog.
My nominees are:
- The Lonely Authors blog
- Touton Tubas and other Tales
- Teacup TAlk
- A.B. Mood
- My Silly World
- Garfield Hug
- Johanna Massey