Month: September 2015
Ok. Sorry folks. I’ve had a writing block this week, so I could not make myself write for a good laugh. So yesterday I asked my humor friend to help me paint something funny. Then I realized I didn’t have to rock my brain to hard when Gando came to mind.
Yes, Gando’s real name was Idovia, and she was my maternal grand-mother. She is the old lady with the large wood spoon, about to slap the crap out of her husband. Well, from what I recalled, she did not beat him, but she sure had not problem slapping others who played with her money. That old lady was a business woman, shipping plaintans and coffee all over Haiti. But, for as long as I can remember, she was always grinding coffee beans, which although she sold, but I think she probably drunk most of it. I’m not talking about the American coffee either. My grandmother coffee was like the Cuban expresso which she drunk probably six LARGE WHITE FULL cup per day. I had no problem helping her out, and I think I was five.
The tall young/old man in the painting is her husband. Yes, my grand-father was like a giant. He always held a machete, and for the life of me, he must have lived inside the banana plantation. I don’t recalled seeing him anywhere else. The first time I saw her, I thought he had just arrived from Africa.
And the river in the back, do I need to say more? It was like a paradise!!!
Yes, the little girl with the light blue dress standing by the river, way in the back of Gando’s house, is ME!
Enjoy – Waiting for your feedback!
A woman after a stressful day at work, prepared dinner. After she served her two girls, while they were still eating, she dosed off to sleep.
Her younger girl who was three at the time, walked near the bed, and with both hands started to shake her like an earthquake.
“Mommy! Mommy! MOMMY!
Finally the woman woke up, hardly able to keep her eyes open, she answers her daughter,
The daughter replied with the nicest smile, “Are you sleeping mommy?”
Twenty five years later, when she finally told her daughter about the incident, which she thought she was too young to even remember. But, to her surprise, her daughter replied,
“I remember Mommy. That day I shook you because I thought you were dead.”
“Dead?” Why would you think so?”
“Mom, you were snoring so loud, the whole house was vibrating, so I thought the wolf had ate my mother, and disguise himself in your bed.
But didn’t’ your older sister told you, I was just sleeping?”
“She’s the one who told me “the wolf was about to eat us both now.” So I said, “Let me go first. If he was too full, he wouldn’t eat her too.”
What would you do if you were among the passengers who were ready to take off for a nine hours flight, but you heard a sudden loud “BOOM,” from the plane?
Yes, you heard me right! The plane was practically still on the ground when my unbelievable strange daughter heard that boom, and do you know what she did?
“NOTHING!” She just said:
“Ohoh! C’est quoi ça?” Meaning: “What was that?”
So I asked her, “Since the plane was still on the ground, did you take off RUNING FOR YOUR LIFE?”
“No. “they announced it was something to do with the “PLANE MOTOR.” Therefore we were told to remain seated until they “FIXED IT.
So, let me get that straight. “You were in a plane to Portugal, and before it even took off, it abruptly stopped. EVERYONE PANICKED. And even after you heard it was the motor malfunctioned, you were crazy enough to sit there and wait, for them to fix it, with the hope you will travel ALL NIGHT in the same plane.”
“Yeah! But they had the nerve to tell us “The damage was too major, requiring a special order from Portugal.”
“They had the nerve, while you lacked the sense. You both were a perfect match.” I told her.
“Well Mom, that happens sometimes, But I trust they know what they are doing.”
Do you know my daughter had the nerve to call the same air plane company by 6:00 A.M the following morning, to find out when “THE SAME PLANE WAS TAKING OFF?”
WARNING: This is how your children will turn out if you marry an aeronautic engineer. SO BEWARE!
My ex-husband was still attending Northrop University when our daughter was born. I recalled nearly every weekend, we would drive near the LA airport, parked the car so near, where we could practically smell the planes as they landed, in order for him to identify the models number, write down all the details for his school assignment. Back then I feared my daughter would turned out to be deaf, instead she turned out to be immune to plane explosion.
So after she made about a dozen calls, they finally confirmed, “The flight had been cancelled!”
Thank God, my prayers and my whole day fasting were answered. For once, God heard my emergency call.
But after a couple hours, I heard “Let’s go Mom.”
“Let’s go where?”
“To the airport.”
“Are YOU CRAZY?”
“Don’t worry, travelling with another company.” She answered calmly. The downfall, I will just have to take three planes instead of one.
Was I relieved. Of course, that was before I yelled, “THREE PLANES, are you crazy??????”
Why not? Daddy used to do it all the time!
In the field of the heavenly task, I was assigned a young protégé. The first house we travelled was a multi-millionaire, known for his brilliant invention. Disguised as a beggar, we knocked on his front door.
A man dressed like a penguin, with a superior pose, opened the door. “How may I help you?”
So I answered, “It is mighty cold, our journey is mighty far, we beg for shelter till early morrow please.”
“Let’s see what the master!” As he walks away. “If look could have killed…” Hope you know what I mean.”
“Who is it?” We heard. But the butler did not answer. Instead, he kept on walking with his head straight, as if it was held by an invisible cast.”
Meanwhile, with the door closed, we stood in the cold. The snow blistering, we turned into a snow man.
After a few second we heard, “Why bothering me with such nonsense? Throw them in the basement!”
So we slept on the cold floor. Not a cup of coffee or tea was offered to us. But in the middle of the night, the butler was kind enough to bring us a blanket, along with a candle. On his way back, his steps paved the way to a large whole, but he kept on walking. So with my magic instinct, I restored the floor right before we left.
“Why did you even bother to fix the floor, after the way we were treated?” Asked the young angel.
I answered him, “Things are not always as they seem dear.”
The next house we visited, was a poor farmer, with his wife and four children.
“We boiled some water for your bath. Afterward, come and dine with us. Although a small chicken, but I’m sure will do.” Said the wife, while she served us a cup of tea.
The husband who remained quiet during dinner finally turned to me, “John and Nathan will sleep with us. Their beds are pretty comfy, hope you both will be warm.”
But around midnight, we heard a male voice, weeping in the living room.
“Why God – Why? I used our last coins to buy this cow – Now that it’s dead, how will we survive – how will we?”
The young protégée bitterly plead: “Why? Could you not have prevented this tragedy on this kind and hospitable family? While You’ve withheld you blessing from them, yet you’ve shed your kindness on the unworthy millionaire”
The older angel replied “Haven’t I previously stated: “Things are not always as they seem?”
“Grant me understanding then. Perhaps, even discernment please – For I’m yet to see the light through your reasoning!”
Then the elder answered “I hid the wealth which was bursting its pathway from the ground, being the rich man was not worthy of such honor. Therefore, even that which was once granted to him shall be taken away.
But, pertaining to this man, could the grief he suffered over the cow, be compatible to the one his family would endure if he dies – being that he is the main bread winner? Last night, during the midnight hour, I bargained with the angel of death who was commissioned to claim his soul; so he settled for the cow instead. Learn this: “Things are not always as they seem. ”
“But, how will they survive?”
“The sparkle of life travels with hope; and where there is love, there also lies the strength to survive. “