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Words reference for this story:

Allo = Hello ….Bouche – Lips …Corm = Came….Horme = Home…

Idon-no wè-theyat = I don’t know where they are

Numero = Number

Prière =  Prayer

Reard – Read

Soeur = Sister

Sung = song

Terll = Tell

Wat = Watchat we a talking – What we were talking

Wè-theyat = Where they at

Awe-ways dondat = Always done that

_________=Nothing is said

Old lady deaf

So I went back to visit the same church I went a couple weeks ago. You remember the debate about Psalm forty two? When the three elders could not decide if 42 was either a “5 & 2,” or “2×40+1+1=80?” If you have not read that story, I suggest you read it on my blog. It’s entitled “The Art of conversation with a Haïtian zest.” It will help you understand this story even better.

So, like I was saying, I went back to visit the Church. In fact, I made sure I sat near the same old folks. Only two of them were present this time. To my surprise, the pastor had placed a projector so everyone could read the song, and the scriptures on the board. I guess it was his effective way to help the old folks who could not find the scriptures last I visited. I was of course amazed by the pastor’s efficiency. Although I quietly said to myself: “Damn it! You took my story  away!” But WAS-I-WRONG!

There is as saying in my country, which is the following: “To take a donkey near the lake of water is one story. But to force him to drink the water, is a whole different story.”  This is exactly what came to mind last night, while I observed the two old folks. OMG!

Picture this: After the prayer, the worship service started.

First song projected on the board, with both the number of the song; (which by the way was #3) and the words, for EVERYONE to read. But listen to this:

First old lady: As she raised her hand: “Allo my soeur! You did not terll us the numero of the sung!”

The Worship leader kindly responded: “Brothers and sisters – Hello! Hello! Everyone! “Going forward, we are projecting the song number, and the actual words over there. (She’s pointing her finger toward the board.) “Also, the scriptures, along with the verses will be projected on that board as well. To start off with song #3, in the Chant D’esperance.”

While the whole congregation is singing. First old lady, talking to her partner in crime. I’m sure everyone were able to hear her:

“But, I still don’t see the numemo of the sung!”

Second voice: “Me too.” Then she whispered, “You see what we a talking last night?”

First voice answered: ‘If I want to wat TV I stay horme. I corm to church for singing, and for prière.  But now, Mmmm! I don-no wè-theyat!”

So I walked closer to then and said: “Sisters, you don’t need to look for the song in the book anymore. But if you still wish to read it from your book, you can see the number on top of the board, it says #3 – do you see it?”

“Awww! Oui – Oui! I see – Oui!

And the words of the song, are right there also.” I opened the book of the song, and compared the words to the board. But as I read the words to them, I was in for a pleasant surprise.

When I said: “Qui brille en tous lieux” They answered me: “Qui B tzyeux.”   So I acted as if I didn’t hear them, and kept on reading. Please note our differences on the following sentences:

 My reading:                                                          Their answer

Proclamons sa grâce,                                            ___________sa GA -ZE

Le pardon divin,                                          Le poidon Zivin

L’amour efficace,                                        L’anmou Eviigaze

Le Bonheur sans fin.                                   Leur honèr zanvin

I sing the whole song with them, while constantly pointing my finger to the board, simultaneously to the song book. So I could reassure them, that both sources were equally the same.

“You see!” I told them. “What you see on the board, is the same thing with the book.”

But one answered, “I like to reard from the boork. I donlike TV.”

“Would you rather have both, the songs and the scriptures in creole instead? Perhaps it would be easier for you guys to read the board?

‘Hihihihiho!” That’s them laughing hysterically. They laughed and laughed. While I was  wondering why? With a puzzled look on my face.

So one of them finally answered:

“Read? We don-no how to reard! And my sister don hear!”

You should see my facial expression, in slow motion: “You guys can’t read, and your sister can’t hear? But, she’s the one who asked for the song number!”

“Hihihihihiho! I know! She awe-ways dondat!!!”

“But, how come she knew the song # was not mentioned at first?”

“Hihihihihiho! “I reard at her bouche!”

“Hold on! Aren’t you the one who can’t hear? But, you just answered me!”


OMG! I-was-speechless!


4 thoughts on “SPEECHLESS!

    Joyful2bee said:
    July 7, 2015 at 12:10 am

    I can believe this! Such a great funny story!

    Liked by 2 people

      laughtermedicineforthesoul responded:
      July 7, 2015 at 1:32 am

      I know. I love that one too. Thank you for taking the time to read and comenting.

      Liked by 1 person

      swajithkas said:
      July 8, 2015 at 10:32 am

      Yes, it is absolutely funny story and plain pleasure to read it. Neadege, you are amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Liked by 2 people

        laughtermedicineforthesoul responded:
        July 8, 2015 at 12:13 pm

        lol What can I say? I was born with a gift to sesign “showyourbutt” gown. My mom just could share the vision. Thank you so much for all your comments. I truly apreciate it.


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