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In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “A Mystery Wrapped in an Enigma.”
THE ENTER-VIEW PROCESS!
The word “interview” does not rhymes well with my senses. In fact, I get an allergic reaction, whenever I’m forced to travel through that intersection. Although I do understand this is a necessary process, but I can’t help it. I don’t know how to place my best foot forward. I always feel like saying: “Hey! You want me? Here I am! I’m a workaholic, and I have no time for game, or hypocrisy.”
Honestly, I have a phobia when it comes to talking to strangers. Yes, strangers tend to trigger my panic mode, no matter how friendly they appear to be. Therefore, sitting in a room filled with bullies, ready to intersect me, is not my ideal gourmet food.
The word interview itself makes me feel as if I’m willfully consenting for the oposing party to “Enter/ invade my soul, and my personal space.” My thought then? Rrrrrrrrrrrr, you are too close to me stranger! Just because you possibly hold the key to my financial survival, should not give you the right to “View” me this close.”
Don’t you agree with me? And, strangely enough, this “ENTER & VIEW” process is really a one way street, contrary to what they wish us to beliebe.
How often they try to glaze us with some delicious peach confifute? You know, That’s when they pleasant hold their hands together, and smile as they ask us the following:
“Ok. So, do you have any question?”
Piece of crap! This is just the way to lure us into believing an open door policy is possibly active.” But the fact is, it’s because they arefully aware of all the boogyman still dancing boolala inside their office closets. As a matter of facts, while a clear signal is duly expected of us, about them? Yes, if I’m a perfect fit for your company; how likely would you reveal to me the dirty facts about your company ahead of time, as you expect of me?
No, you would never warn me how from my first day I’m prone to mingle my soul with some of the creepiest characters. You know, the eying citic type!
“Wow, well-com’mm! I like your hair style girl!” Than trun around to whisper, “The 60’s era, wow!”
Yes. About the Saint who pride herself in defaming other’s character.
“How dare you, I never lie.” She said. Yet, she’ll be the first peson to create a new hot for another empoyee to wear unknowingly.
Then, we have the deceptive creep, disguising herself as angel of light, when in fact she’s the mother of harlot, who hold a masters degree in hypocrisy. Yes, she specializes in torture. And, she is so good at what she does, your employees would look forward to a transfer to hell, rather to continue their employment with your company.
NO, I’M NOT DONE YET! About that one gossiper with a sensor recording machine wired in her belt, what measures have you explored in order to chop off her venom tongue? Or, the control freak in charge of your book camp, referred to as “Hitler’s ground. Have you addressed all the complaints against her?
Lastly, will I have to work my “butt off” in order to earn a promotion? Or do you truly value a genuine indispensable employee?
Yes, I know. I do come across like a bulldozer. But, what can I say?
“Years of experience!”